I'm too much of a workaholic. I have always been one.And i realise, that because of this trait i posses, it somehow always manages to ruin my love life. What do i mean? Well lets get things straight.

I have this "pride" for working. Where i wanna show the people at work that i can do it. That i'm committed. But sometimes it just will do me no good. Because apparently, my other half will start complaining, saying i prioritise work more rather than him. Yes, i may be true in circumstances where i feel that it's appropriate because even if i end early, i would just be spending time alone waiting for him. So why not, spend it doing things i can get done right?
But i guess yesterday wasn't the case for it.

Yesterday, someone said that i abandoned him. I chose work over him, at a time when he needed me. But to me, that wasn't the case. He knew beforehand that i was going to stay a while longer at work to get some things done. And i told him that i had some serious issues with the place he was going to. And yet, he still said i abandoned him. I mean.. where in the world did he get that when in the first place i already said i was going to stay, & that he was ok if i didn't accompany him? And after all the things we've been through? It is just not fair. Yes, i make mistakes, but so do you. Yes, sometimes i go overboard, but i'm still human ain't i?

Yes, it was my fault for bursting out just like that. But something he did made me just burst. And i guess i got to carried away with my words. And yet now, it seems like everything between us is over, cause he is still holding on to it.
And now, i'm left with this feeling. Feeling of just wanting to sleep and never wake up. Feeling of just wanting it all to be ok..And all i keep doing is cry, waiting for him to come back to me.
But somehow, i know i've lost. & sadly, i have no one else to blame but me. Cause i know i had hurt him. And if i'm only gonna keep hurting him, then it's best i leave. And now, it's killing me. All over again.

To wish that i could turn back time & make things right again is something i know will not come true. So for now, i will just let it be. I will just let these tears flow. And let him be.. Even though deep inside, i know all i want is him. =_(