I can feel the venom running through my veins. Pricking & tearing me apart as it glides through every single part of my body.
1 moment my hands can be calm, the next it'll be shaking like crazy.
1 moment my heartbeat will be calm, the next it'll be pumping like crazy.
And the best part, he prays for me to die if that is what i want.

So tell me now, how do i go about my day, knowing he has that much of hatred for me. Knowing that he doesnt care.

But 1 thing i know that is certain, is this thing inside of me. He doesn't know it. I won't tell him. Because i don't want him to stick around just because of this. I want him to stick around because he loves me. Because he wants to.

So right now, i shall just wait & see. To what certain extent he'll go to hurt me.

I will just wait & see.


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This time, i'll make sure i never wake up. Goodbye.


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True enough, i've said quite a couple of times that i wanna leave. But where is it, in those times have i really meant it?
How many instances have i really left? Hasn't it always been me who comes back, begging you to take me back? To never leave?
So where in the world, does that comes up to the topic of me having the intention of leaving you all along?

Open up your eyes & see. If i REALLY wanted to leave, i would have been gone already. I wouldn't still be here arguing with you. Wouldnt still be here trying to convince you, that i'll never leave.

So seriously, why can't you open up your eyes for once. Just once. & see how much it's hurting us. & maybe realise that we're forever.

If it takes me to my very last breath, i'll still keep on fighting. I'll still keep on crying, trying to prove to you that we're meant to be.
Till my very last breath, i swear upon our unborn baby.



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You said you know what i'm feeling right now.
You said you know i'm feeling heartbroken right now.
So. What are you gonna do bout it? What are you gonna do to make things better?

Oh wait. I just remembered. NOTHING. Yup. That's right. Nothing is what you'll do. Because all along, it has always been me who had to get rid of the feelings myself.
It has always been me who had to make myself feel better.
It has always been me, Me, ME.

So don't blame me if i start showing less concern towards you or your needs.


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Location:Jurong West Street 93,Singapore,Singapore

Why do seem to get irritated by me easily? Why does every single thing i do or say, seems so very wrong to you?
Why? What is it this time?
I know you said it was because you're sick. But somehow, i don't quite believe it.

Or isit because you're already tired of me? Or maybe you've already found someone else? Tell me. What is it this time?


I just can't seem to do anything right anymore. Even saying sorry can become a sin to you. I really don't know what to do anymore.
='(

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And somehow this time, the feeling is getting stronger & stronger by the moment. What are you hiding from me? Tell me.

Somehow when u rejected my offer to spend countdown together, u somewhat broke me apart. I could go on & on & blurt it all out here on those little things you do that hurt me so. But what's the use? You'll only go turn it back around & say i'm being pathetic.

You're drifting away from me. & i know you know it too. So pls, tell me if you wanna go. So at the very least, i'll stop putting hopes on you anymore.




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Every word or sentences has a few different meanings to it. So why can't you open up your mind to some of the other different meanings?
Even after i tried explaining, you still decide to stick to your original theory of what you thought it meant.

So tell me, should i even bother to explain if i've had already known how you react? But then again, all you'll say is "So now it's not worth fighting uh since you can't be bothered anymore?"

So seriously, tell me where i should go. Tell me what i should do. Because every single thing i do, seems to be wrong to you.


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No! No! No! No! No!
I hate it when it always comes. I hate it when it always comes & Bogey is not around. Why do i have to go through it alone? Why can't it come when he's beside me?

But for 1 thing, i don't hate the fact that i went through it. Cause it made realise what wonders me & Bogey could create. But what i hate about it, is how much it can bring me down. How much it can make me cry & cry & cry. What do i do? Where do i go? Only god knows. But 1 thing is for sure. I'll never ever forget that day.

*25/08/10*
My precious lil one.
Mummy miss you.
=_(

So this is what it all comes down to huh? Meeting once a week. Communicating only through smses. Talking on the phone once in a few weeks. Is it?

All it comes down to right now is work, work, work. & where does it leave us? Further & further apart. I somehow know that you would be there saying it's bullshit for me to be thinking that we're falling apart. But i don't care anymore. Look at us. Seriously. Where's the love? The communication? The non-stop msgs? Where? Tell me where it is, then i'll fucking shut up alright.

I've gone from being "trying-to-understand-your work situation" to "cannot-be-bothered-anymore". Why? Because this was where we were when i first caught you giving your time to other girls.
Yes. My paranoia is back. My insecurities are back. But what can i do? You're not even giving me the motivation or strength to believe you're not doing so. Because even if i'll tell you so,all your reaction would be. "Up to you uh what you want to believe."
So isn't it better i just shut my mouth & just show off my dislike through my reactions?

What the fuck lah. Seriously. I just hope this stupid phase goes away fast without us getting on each others nerves to the breaking point. Because seriously, i feel like i'm just another single girl who's contacting someone for the sake of it. Sorry if it hurts, but that is how i feel right now.
*shrugs*