It's been almost a month since my last post. My last withdrawal of things i didn't want to accept.
I've been keeping myself busy every single day, working my ass off, trying to keep my mind of you.
But these days, everything seems to be coming back again. As 25th August gets nearer, thoughts & memories have been haunting my mind.

I've gone back to drinking. Being a much much worse alcoholic than my dad was. At time i would admit it, but at times, i would just flatly deny it.
Alcohol has been a friend to me these days. A very good friend. It has made me tired enough so i wouldn't think about anything & just sleep it off as soon as i reach home.

I can't help but to cry again. Thinking of how OUR baby should be here right now. How he should already be smiling to us with his little feet & hands. How he would have fit nicely in my arms. How we would have been a family, finally.
I'm missing you much too terribly these days. Much to my own amazement actually, when i already thought i had gotten over you.
But when it comes to a point that i'm still waiting for your msges each night, waiting for the day when you say you wanna meet me, i realised. That i was never over you in the first place.

I miss you Mohamed Haffiz. I miss you so much. Hug me 1 more time. Kiss me like you always did. I miss you.