What to update..okehh..if u see me go missing without updating or even in msn, you should know why lah kan.It's because he's ard.Well,i didn't go to work today.He's sure gonna fuck me up..But what can i do..My daughter is behaving very weird and i'm sick.Yeah..My sickness is still bugging me.And i hate being sick.Cause nobody takes care of me..Boo Hoo.Hahaha..Update more later.Feeling very very lazy right now.
|
To those who have read the love story..Thank you for your utmost caring comments.Sapa yg tk dpt baca.Too late!hahaha.Well,I know i may have discriminate Gemok in my blog ,one too many times.I know he and me may have had our very worst moments countless of times.But believe me when i say,no matter how or what,he's the only guy i ever foresee living my entire life with,even with his irritating ways.As for "That Guy",yes, i don't deny the fact that i still love him.But if you read it properly, i've already said that i can no longer take him back for what he has done to me.Having your heart broken by your first love was the worst ever."A woman may forgive her husbands'/loves' infedility,But a woman never forgets."Gemok may have some flaws,some very bad ones even.
Tell me who doesn't right?But he's still my love.He is still the one who is going to be my husband.And "That Guy" knows i'm getting married,he knows who my heart belongs to right now.Love to him is way different to my love to Gemok.It is way way different.Hmm..How do i say it.Because love towards "That Guy", is like a love to a friend.Only much much stronger.But hey,I know my limits.I know where my heart lies.And it's with Gemok no matter what,Till the day i die.And about that slut,i really don't care.Have i ever cared about what people say?I don't believe so.i do what i do, when i want, wherever i want to.So yeah, i don't care.Yes, at some point i may have cross the line by writing some very very personal stuffs here in my blog.But this is the only place i feel i can let go of my emotions without having any restrictions,without having any doubts.I don't really care if people wants to think of me as a bad person.I seriously don't care.And yeah, i'm still thinking of whether or not i should make my blog private.Because it's like very cool kan..!!Hahahaha..that's all.
|
haaaa..So much for that long long post.Till i forgot to ask for you people opinions.Should i or should i not change my blog to a private blog.Of course lah..korang-korang yang kpo2 tu mesti lah nanti aku invite kan.ish...So how?
|
I've got a lot of topics to write down..But it just will be confusing if i wrote it all in 1 post..hahs.I'll try to make it short.1st of,I was thinking of making my blog private.Due to some bitch..No..wait..wait.. not good enough for her..due to some slut..yeah.. dat's it..
Ok..due to this slut,who pretends to be my fren,but goes around trying to make Gemok fall in love with her.Hmm...ok..how to start eh..oklah..this particular person (the slut) is a fren of mine who i pretty much dislike cause of her mouth.She got to find out about my blog,about my post regarding my fights with Gemok.I mean, i wrote it there for people to see so i shouldn't be complaining right?But this person,would then msn with me and say,"Kau tak baik tau buat Rizal gitu. Kau kene pikir, Rizal pun maybe tgh stress ke,ape ke.. Kesian aku tgk Rizal."Oklah..Maybe at some point, i did cross the line lah kan.But to me when she said that she was just trying to help me out lah.But then Gemok told me that there was a girl calling him and wanting to make frens with him,saying that she got to know him from me.True lah.She did got to know Gemok from me,but that was after i was already with Gemok for already 1 yr+.And sumore she has the cheek to say that i asked her to call Gemok and befriend him.which then lead to a fight btwn me and Gemok.A very very huge fight to add on.I didn't know who she was because Gemok said she was using a private num.But 1 day, due to her stupidity, she called him when he was at home with me.Gemok picked it up and put it to loudspeaker mode.Gemok acted interested while i listened in to their conversation.Gemok started asking her where she lived and how she knew me all.At first all her answer were like a total blur to me..Obviously all her answer linked to a person that i didn't know at all.Then she started calling him "Sayang" and all that shits.I was about to burst out, but Gemok told me to just keep quiet.So we'll know who she is.And yet again, due to her stupidity..She added Gemok in frenster and started sending him msgs."Love msgs".Ugh.And that was when i found out who she was.Omg!The person whom i thought was my person, who knew i was with Gemok,who knew i was in love with Gemok, was doing this to me.Gemok came home, i told him i knew the girl.And Gemok was shocked.He wanted to call that slut back and fucked her upside down.But i said,"Wait, why not we play her own game,and let her feel what its like to be lied to."So..last tuesday after work,Gemok went and made a "mit-up" with her, since she was pestering him to meet her.But the thing was, she didn't know i was going to be too.Ooohh..This is fun.They met-up at Jurong point 7-11,while i waited at the corner so she wouldn't see me.I almost pounced on her.I wanted to hit her so badly.And she almost made me puked.She was acting so shy,kirekan malu lah, baru2 kenal gitu kan.Nabei.I was mad but at the same time tickled..Cause Gemok looked like he was about to run away and shout for help.Haha.My darling Gemok.Then i called up Gemok, he pretended that i was his friend saying,"Kau kat ne? aku kt 7-11. Dtg sini ah"Ape lagi...I walked over to them slowly.She didn't notice me as she had her back facing me.And when she finally did saw me..OMG!you should have seen the look on her face.She was about to have a heart attack or something.Then i went,"Eh, kau dgn laki aku. Kau kenal?"And she started saying shits like it was Gemok who contacted her,who wanted to mit up.i just nodded,trying to keep calm despite the fact that she was just about 5 inches away from me and that i could slap her anytime.Then Gemok told her the truth about our plan to make her look bad and all.And then,(this was where i lost my mind) being angry because she found out she was fooled,she started making stories that i had another guy behind my back lah, i was criticising Gemok lah.. all the stupid stupid stuffs.And that was when my cute little hands ended up on her cheeks.And let me tell u, It felt damn good.Really really goooddd.Despite wanting to punch her and make her hurt more,Gemok just held my hand and told me to walk away.Saying that this piece of shit wasn't worth all my energy.Imagine this, i was already so very sick,And on top of that i had to deal with this fucking slut.Haish..But at the end of the day,it was all worth it.Cause for 1 thing, i was shocked.Shocked for having a so-called "friend" do this to me.And 2ndly,shocked because Gemok was truthful to me.FO THE VERY FIRST TIME LAH!!Hahs.Usually,he would try very hard to conceal it and not let me know at all.But i think he already knows what will happen if i found out by myself.Haha.I so love my Gemok.And to you,you motherfucking slut.
I know you being the kpo u are, you will surely be reading this post.
So by the time you get to this part, i know you'll be all pissed.
So let me take this sweet moment to tell you this.
Nice try.
But you have to try harder.
It's obvious you don't know the bond between me and my man.
It's obvious you've forgotten that i can make your live disappear in just 1 second.
You forgot who i was.
You forgot who i knew.
but don't worry, i'm gonna make you destroy your own life.
Don't worry.
it won't be long.
Let it be you who destroy your own life,not me.
Revenge is sweet.
|
Not at work today.My daughter is Down with the sickness..Haha. Haiz... My daughter is so big right now. She grew up toooo fast.. Way tooo fast.. I still remember the day when i gave birth to her. She was sooo.. So "Perfect". I was holding the outmost sweetest,beautiful baby in the world. And i was proud. Yesterday, me and mummy were looking back at photos. And we chanced upon my baby girls' photos.
And i cried. Yes. Yes. I cried! Okehh.. I'm a crybaby. That's a fact for you. Cried for 2 reasons. 1: I was so happy for being blessed with my baby. 2:I was sad thinking about her fate in her older years. But whatever lah.. Put that aside. And now..!
Pics galore! Enjoy!
ONE Day Old Baby. 1 day already so stubborn. Y? Cause you the know the "Bedung" we have to wrap the baby in? Yeah.. That one. No matter how tight we tie it. She would manage to get her tiny hands out. Hahs.
Her 1st day back at home. I just wouldn't let her go. I love her so much. Okeeh..My baby has this habit of sleeping on top of me.Until now..Only that now,she's big and heavy.Ugh..Tolong.Cnnt Breath.Hahas. You know the alphabet carpet.?i have them at home.And i used to lay them out in the living room.Cause she was starting to crawl and everything.But one day, my idiotic brother went and took out the letters and threw it on top of her..i was already shouting, saying that she will cry.But to my amazement, she liked it.So hence,from that day forth..dat was her favourite toy.Having things thrown on top of her.Hahaha. She was the star.Everyone wanted to see her.Everyone wanted to hold her. Pardon the mummy.The mummy fat.I know. Look at her being very cheeky.Actually this pic was candid.My dad was taking her pic with the hp when she suddenly made that face.Kecik2 da tunjuk nakal.Hahs.
I love this pic.Cause she was smiling.And all because my uncle tripped and fell in front of her..Hahaha!
 She was my grandad's precious.Everytime she sees my grandad she would ask him to carry her.She was close,very close to my grandad.Even till now.Ok.Thats all for now.I have to bring her to the doctor now.Bye.
|
OMG!.I just read a frens blog.And i just found out that one of our fren is missing.I mean i knew she was missing, but i thought she would be home by now.never thought this would happen to someone i knew.http://www.straitstimes.com/Latest%2BNews/Singapore/STIStory_140006.html?vgnmr=1Just hope somebody finds her soon.Where Are You Gaia?
|
Oh My God!You are the WORST EGOISTIC MOTHERFUCKER i have ever met in my life.Time and time again you said u understand what i want but yet why don't you do it?Huh?Reasons why i kept saying "nothing" was because, i don't want u and my mum to have any hatred towards each other.You don't fucking know what i feel inside.You damn well don't know how i try so hard to make u and my parents happy.i kept all the things my mum said bout u to myself.i kept what u said bout my parents to myself.Each and every time my parents ask me to tell u something, which i know will hurt you, i just kept quiet.In the end, it will be me who gets all the scolding..It will be me crying every night alone.And you don't even bother.Damn u lah rizal.You said,"Yelah,i kan sape tknk bilang i semua problem u. abeh lepas tu bilang kat org".Now u tell me lah.to whom do i let my problems out?i've got no close frens left.I've got nobody, unlike u..you have frens whom you can relate your problems to.i kept my problems to myself.Well, maybe at my blog.why?cause even if were to tell u my problems, it will always end up with you scolding me.Don't say i have a huge ego,when u urself have one too.I never denied my ego.yes!i admit,i have a very very HUGE ego.but you,you will never admit to having an ego.and it will always come to a point where u always say it's my fault.Take the blame for once.Be a man lah!Come on.you're supposed to console me whenever i cry,whenever my mum fucks me upside down.Not scold me more.It just adds up to my never ending list of problems lah fuck!It always end up with me crying to myself, cause i try to make ur realtionship with my parents happen.Cause i don't want you to think my parents are unreasonable.Cause i don't want you to feel akward living with me.But with you being so fucking egoistic,i guess it will never happen.You disappoint me time and time again Rizal.i just want a happy family.It's dat to much to ask for?Disappointment Time And Time Again From You. Fuck You.
|
Now then i realised, that i once was a totally,short-tempered,pissed off,deranged bitch.Always uttering the word "f**k " in every single conversation i had.Always blowing up. Always angry.hahahaha..i'm just glad that phase was over.the "Hellish part in a relationship" phase.In my frenster blog, i was always..well,emmm..pissed!Hahaha...Link to my frenster blog:http://tazzy-chokat.blogs.friendster.com/new_beginnings/
|
Guys.What can we say bout them?Most of us girls go through a case of what we call "Dream guy in the beginning, Worst nightmare later on"Ok..You get what i mean lah kan..It's like,baru-baru kenal,guys are at their most sweetest and cutest moments.but then when you've been with each other for quite a while,they tend to change.Change as in, they don't bother to call u much.They will call,but only like twice or three times a week..When last time we used to talk for almost 24 hrs each and every day.They tend to spend lesser and lesser time with you..When last time, a day..no..no..make it a minute.a minute without seeing each other would be like the "ultimate torture".Haha.And yet when you try to talk things out..All they tend to say ,"Alaaa,we still together pe. you nak risau buat pe?"Nak risau buat ape ehk?Hmm.Let me think eh.Oh yah..Aku risau lah, pasal kau da jarang call aku,pasal kita dah tk slalu jumpa..Oh yes..But to them that is not a big deal..Cause why..??To them as long as they are not playing behind our backs, thats good enough in a relationship..Obviously they don't know that it takes much more than just not playing behind each others back to being with each other..Entah lah kan..i used to go through that with Gemok..Where we only meet like once in 2 weeks..talk on the fone like 3 times per week..and yes..to him that's ok..Until one day when i've had enough, and i took things in my own hands, instead of always trying to talk to him, but always got a sarcastic reply from him everytime.Yeah..i started going out with friends more,started having fun ,WITHOUT him.And suddenly it was his turn saying that i don't spend much time with him anymore.Ironic ain't it.When in the 1st place u were the one saying it was ok as long as we've got each other.But when i start going out with friends again, u start to say aku pentingkan kawan.And did i tell you, guys are good ,and i mean DAMN good, at twisting the story till evetually it becomes our fault to start with.Hahs.Don't believe me?I have one good example here with me, living with me.Gemok.He is good.and he knows it.Haha.What i'm trying to say is,why do guys even bother to be nice in the 1st place, when later on all u do is just don't bother?And since i have a male reader here (Zyrul),pls don't "Terase" okeehh..It's just a post about what i've gone through and what my friend is going through right now.And yes, your comments will be very very much appreciated.Cause you're a guy,and i want to hear from u what you think bout this..Haha.So..Comments people.And Fad darling,If he doesn't want to make the effort of trying to please you, then do whatever makes you happy.Cause your happiness matters most.That's why i rather stick to "Tattoos last greater than romance."
Words from the great tattoo artist "AMI JAMES".
Haha.
I wish.
And my daughter is annoying the crap out of me right now.
Singing this stupid chinese song.
And i'm beat.
Bye.
And Pls Gemok, Stay This Way. Cause This Is You WhomI Fell In Love With In The First Place.
|
Can i please shout in the middle of the night??Damn, my finger hurts so much.the 2nd finger on the right hand.Why u ask?cause i was playing "Spongebob Squarepants Diner Dash".My finger hurts real bad from all that clicking of the mouse..Ouch.Pain lah oi..You guys should try that game..Somehow or another u'll get hooked to it.Actually i was hooked to it a long time ago..But previously it was just "Diner Dash".This is the Spongebob version of it.Gemok woke up wanting to watch vcd..But since i was so engrossed in playing the game,he ended up sleeping on the couch.Hahs.Padan muka.Ye ye nak bgn tgk Vcd konon.Hahs.Ok..now i need to rest my fingers..nak type pun menyeksa..Sakit!
|
The "Tai-Tai" Is Back.Hahs.Went through all my pas entries on my blog and on my friendster blog..and i see is Hatred towards him in all the post..Hahs.Past Is Past.Whatever lah kan..I'm just so bored right now..Sorang2 kat rumah..satu rumah da kemas..ape aku nak buat skg eh?ntahlah..tdo pun bagos..Hahs..Bye!
|
I'm so bored and i love my Gemok.Headache and a back pain sure doesn't help.At all.So much for being 20.Only.
|
|
Do i seriously look motherly and tai-tai with short hair.??Tai-tai i dnt mind.but motherly??!aw come on..mmg lah aku mak..but pls ehk..sheesh.Haiz.But the reason i want my long hair back is so dat Gemok wil then be ultra "Possesive" of me.Some sort lah..Cause he said, me with long hair makes guys turn to look again..Wakakakaka.He finally admitted something which i nvr thought he would sey.Well..push that aside..My back is killing me..Again.It's back..and it's haunting me like f*ck.I hate my back..SAKIT LAH SIAK!!
|
Thanks Darling for your concern..But everything's fine now..For the time being..Hahs.And tell your Love,Sorry bnyk2..Aku agak anak aku da terpikat dgn dia..Pasal tu dia g call.Hahahaha..Well..Things are doing ah.. Oklah.He's trying so hard to get me to forgive him.And i'm trying so hard to show him that i'm the boss..Haha..Macam paham..I like doing this..doing something to make him suffer..Ok..i'm bad..so what.?As if you've never done it before..Making someone take the "Guilt Train" longer than they should.You get the idea..Anyways,Duh Zyrul..Then what do you think i'm trying to do?Grow apple on my hair..?Hahaha..So long people.I'm off for my beauty sleep.Yes..At 9am in the morning!!When you people have to wake up to go to work/school.Hahs.I so love being the "Pain In The Ass".Bye!
|
HE FUCKING HIT ME IN FRONT OF MY MUM!AND I'M SO HATING HIM SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!My head hurts.and he just went out after beating me.doesn't even bother saying sorry or checking on me if i'm hurting.All because his "friends" are waiting for him.Jantan sial.Besar kan kwn dari syg..Fuck him lah..My Head Hurts Real Bad And So Is My Heart. I Hate You.
|
Haha.. I totally forgot that some of you haven't seen the "recent" me eh.. hahas.. okeh..okehh.. Just to let u see the difference lah kan.. Nah. Voila.. See the diff.. That's why i miss my long hair.. haizzzz...
|
Changed my blogskin.And it's 6 in the morning.I'm in for a serious shouting.MORNING SINGAPORE!!
|
Okehhh..Went thru Gemok's pics at frenster and i chanced upon this old pic of his..Where at that point of time,he was skinny..and i was skinny..now..both dah.. Ehem2..understand understood k..But the thing that i actually want to say is..I MISS MY HAIR SEH!!serious..jap eh..see for urself.. LAWA KAN???(Dua2 Kurus Kan? hahs)  Damn seh..i serioualy miss that hair..okeh..New aim..get that hairstyle back b4 raya..haaaa..Gemok don't let seh..don't care..i want jugak..hahs..see the diff in us btwn "Then" and "Now".Very very drastic kan..hahs.I'm praying to "HIM" to lead us through.
|
I'm feeling ala-ala "Desperate Housewives" gitu.Except without all the backstabbing and controversy lah.Why i say i feel like a housewife?Let's recap my "schedule"(ehem2) for each and every day k.7am:Wake up Gemok for work.7.30am:Wake up Baby girl for school. :Siap-siap her.8am:Send Baby girl to school.8.30am:Go back sleep.(Haha. Skejap Je Lah)11am:Bangun,Mandi.12pm-4pm: Kemas Rumah :(eg;Wash Baju, Jemur Baju,Sapu rumah, Mop Rumah,Blablabla)4pm:Cook.5pm:Resting time.6pm:Fetch Baby Girl from school.7pm:Gemok And Fam returns Home.8pm-Malam2 Buta: Clean House.And the routine goes on each and every day.Pasal ape?Pasal skg aku tk keje.hahs.And aku tgh training jadi housewife.Amcm?Pass?Boleh lah.Haha.Ok.Now time to fetch Baby girl and to wait for the Queenz and Kings to get back home.
|
He "ALMOST" hit me dat night.ALMOST!If he did hit me that night it would have been hell..All because of a tiff i had with my mum that didn't involve him.Stupid.Whatever lah kan..I'm seriously pissed at him for coming back at ard 8 in the morning despite telling me he'll be back ard 4..Tak mintak kene sepak ke tu.Like damn irritating tau tak..he can do whatever he likes.and i'm supposed to follow every single whimps and demands of his..Dream on lah..Obviously he hasn't known me enough to think that i'll follow his every words.Biar lah..Sukahati lah..I seriously can't be bothered much with his current behaviour right now..Demanding and CHILDISH.
|
I Give Up!I give up on trying to figure out how to use photoshop!I give up on trying to make my own blogskin!I give up on waiting for you to call me!I give up on you for always making me cry!I give up on us for always failing, never achieving!I give up on you!I give up on us!I give up on life!I just...Give up..I'm sorry.
|
Back from visiting my frens blog when i just realized.in his blog, he wrote "Don't you ** miss the old us? Always jackass-ing around, always laughing at the slightest things,always there for each other, till the wee hours."can't say that i don't,cause all i'll be doing is lie to myself.but then again, what else can i say?You people have changed.Some of u don't even want to acknowledge the fact that we were once close.Some of you even finched at the word "CP".so tell me,what else is there for me to say?I do miss you guys..i do miss the old times..but look at the people around us..look at how they've changed..look at how they seem to act as if there was never a bond btwn us.I can't say much.All i can say is, if you're happy..then i'm happy for you.Things have gone weird since the chalet.It must be a drag always listening to me say "Enough is Enough" when all i always do is turn right back into his arms.Can u blame me?It was he, who started it all.but i was the one who got the blame.It was he, who doesn't want to let go since the beginning,saying that he believes we're gonna be together till the day we die.It was he, who always does things without considering the consequences,and end it with saying i lead him to do it.Bullshit.but what did i do wrong this time?till u have to shout at me early in the morning?till u say i was being calculative?You shocked me that night when u said,"Lagi bagos kalau i tak tinggal sini".Wahhhh..Sedap nye kau cakap..tapi bila aku suruh kau klua dari rumah aku,pandai kau cakap,"Kau pikir aku nie binatang pe?!"Look at how you're always turning things around till it finally becomes my fault..Countless of times have i said,"Enough Is Enough."But now i know, i can't change anything by saying that.Cause you still won't let me go.Saying,"I Sayang You" ,"I Need You", "I Can't Live Without You".Blablabla is all i'm hearing.Think again mister.December is coming real soon.And i don't want to be seen as an unhappy bride then.I want to be seen as the happiest bride in the world.And u better make a choice soon.Or it will be you who's gonna look like the stupid groom.Think fast mister..5 more months to go.
|
Stupid Gemok!Kacau me can!I kacau him i kena fucked!Ah!G mampos ah!Kasih Chop slam baru tau!Aaarggghhhh!
|
Finally i got around to updating my links..If not..all links,wrong links..Hahaha..ok..to update on my wkend..Went to Wak's chalet.. (wak is one of the "OLD" Crazie peeps)As per usual..everything he does always get cocked up..in the end,we had to buy things to eat..get this..you make the chalet and we ppl have to buy our own food..if like that, better don't come kan?!but what the heck..because of the excitement of meeting the peeps after such a long,long time..i just went..Set out on Fri after Gemok came back from werk..and stayed there till Sun afternoon..Seriously.It was fun while it lasted..Met some good frens and some so called enemies..but hey..we're all there cause we miss each other kan?so don't bother bout enemies or whatever..Anyway,macam biasa gak..some were M.I.A despite promising me to come..boohoo..u made me cry tau..After getting back from the chalet on Sunday,Me and Gemok went to meet his blood bro, Madi(Iqah's Love Lah..) and Iqah..Cause they wanted to "TREAT" me for my belated birthday.(Actually because i treated them before to Billy Bombers..Hahs)Let me tell you..by the time i was finished with the food..I seriously had to unbutton my pants..Seriously boncit seh!Hahahaha..Aniways,after that,sent Iqah back..then Madi sent me and Gemok back..all the wayyyyyyy to Jurong..From Tampines..Thanks alot Madi for the treat and for sending us back..Should do it more often..u treating me and sending me home lah..hahahahaha..Jangan marah ah Iqah...Just joking..ok..I'm beat.Gemok's already snoring away in the room..Stupid..Always snoring 1st without me..Now, i'm gonna go in the room and irritate him..Wakakakaka..bye dears..update more soon ks..bye!
|
|
I've withstand the harshest pain & hurt a human can get. My weakness is love.
And i'll do anything for the people i love. I've been told that i can be intimidating, but at the end of the day, i might just be your best friend.
I do not wish to hate but if i've been hated, i'll be more than please to return the favour.
Simply said..
I'm known as P G Tazzy Yana or Tazz. I'm 22. I have 1 daughter,ZAPHIA. I'm a part of P G.
And i'm happy with my life.