Seriously..i'm hating u rite now..sumpah..tk tipu..Kalau tk balik bilang la..dnt make me wait like a fool when u noe i'm having a fever..U can damn well call me and tell me u're nt coming home pe..Fuck la..Sumtymes u make me hate u so much dat i just dnt want to have anyting to do with u..Seriously..i hate you...Kau tinggal johor terus pun bagos. Tak yah balik lagi!
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Waahhh...Everybody left me alone at home again..Boring sak..What have i done to deserve this?I didnt mean to loose my passport pe..How could you guys leave me at home..Hahaha..step emo lak..Its fun having frens again..Not to say dat i dnt have la..i mean frens to talk to..I use to have lots of frens to talk to..to laugh with..but since ehem ehem..I've been only with him..Nobody much to talk to..Only him, him, him..haha..Ok..now i'm officially bored again..I'm alone at home!wat to do eh..no mood to cook..Comp also nothing to check..I tink i'll be going to sleep..the weather is inviting me to be..Ha..Cold, cold weather..Cheers!Thanx Girls For Making My Day!
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Today was shitty.. as always..But..Whatever..i dnt care..I'v just finished eating my infamous "SAMBAL DAGING".Hahaha..The one that i cooked it but havent eaten.yet.Hahaha..Wow..it was spicy..serious..mcm nk pengsan..haha..i have this tendency to cook spicy things..If its not spicy,i wnt eat it..Frens, Relatives who have tasted my cooking always say its too spicy..but the thing is,even tho its spicy..they keep adding it!.Hahaha..Aniwaes,I've made myself new frens.Blog frens.Actually a few of dem i've met b4..but have never talked to each other.Hahaha..Now we're communicating thru our blogs,when actually we can talk in msn..but "SOME" ppl [sorry eh kalau terasa.. Hee.],sign in their msn but whenever i nudge dem or try to talk to dem..they either respond late or dont respond at all..mampos..kat blog respond..kt msn langsong tkde..Hahaha..Just joking la..Aniwae azeana..u add me at msn,better talk to me ah!.jgn jadi mcm ade org2 tuuuuuu...hahaha..One day we'll definitely meet..and it will be loud and crazy!!haha..Cheers!Cheers to new found friends!
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Seriously dreading sitting at home these few days..its like everything is wrong..Wait..havent i go thru dis b4?yeah..same old ting..my mom..because of her..i juz feel like goin out everyday..And never coming back..She makes home not as sweet as its supposed to be..i damn hate it..the only thing i look forward to at the end of the day is gemok coming home..Nowadays he's the only thing [besides my daughter la.] i look forward to when i wake up..Haiz..Donno why is she hating me right now..Every single day when she comes home from werk,she nags, nags, nags non-stop..Thats why i say its becoming a dread staying at home..I wanna get out of this house..Anybody gt a room to rent?Haiz..I'm so fucked up..Why of all times now?
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ROYAL RUMBLE! ROYAL RUMBLE! ROYAL RUMBLE!Yay!Undertaker won this year's ROYAL RUMBLE!!WoooHOOooooOoo!Yay!!!Yay!!Da buang tebiat agaknye.. Haha. I miss my gemok!!
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I'm down with the flu..It's so irritating..have been sneezing non-stop since morning..Feel like just ripping my nose off..Aargh..irritating damn shit..i so hate the flu right now.Damn it!Sick. Sick. Sick.
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Well,he's back home..Lepas jugak rindu aku..Hahaha..He reached home ard 7+..He looked so damn tired..poor him..haha..He took a bath..and then we went out..tot of watching movie..but with his tired look..i know he'll fall asleep in the theatre..So just went out and rented some vcds..Guess what we rented??ROYAL RUMBLE!!hahaha..yes.. the wrestling show..The "ROYAL RUMBLE"..i'm a big fan of royal rumble since i was small..But wrestling now totally sucks..I prefer wrestling during WWF..It was the best..During the days of Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior,The OLD Undertaker with Paul Bearer..Lots more la..I Just love wrestling..But only the royal rumble episodes..haha..Gemok fell asleep while watching "Nacho Libre"..A comedy by Jack Black..I watched it till finish..and here i am updating my blog..got nothing much to say actually..Juz updated for the sake of updating..haha..Well..So long..Till my next update..Cheers!Yes. I was bored. U should know why my dear.Haiz.
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Ok..I've mopped the fllor..Yes..In the middle of the night.hahah..Hmm.wat to do now..I'm freaking bored.Donno wat to do..Yay!!Gemok's coming home tomoro..WoooOoOHOOoOoooo!!Happy seh..Miss him terok gila babi seh..K2..Enuff of him..didnt do anything much 2day..Woke up ard 7.45pm..haha..Yeah. i slept the whole day..Went down skejap buy thermometer for my bro.and after dat clean the house..basically,my life is so boring.i need to get a new life..anybody wanna swap??hahaha..oh shit.havent wash plates..k..bye2..have to go wash them now..if not the dreadful "EMPRESS" a.k.a my mom,is gonna send me to the dungeon..byes..cheers.yay! yay! gemok nak balik! yay! yay!
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You guys know the old reality tv show "The Swan"?yeah..there was a rerun just now..and i watched it..how i wished i could be on that show..serious.I want everything to be perfect.Obviously we all know dat nobody's perfect..But i mean perfect as in my body.i wanna get rid of my stretch marks.[from my pregnancy]i wanna get rid of my bulging tummy.and get bigger breasts..haha..Why?cause i want my husband to not leave me..we have heard stories bout how when a woman doesnt bother bout her looks,and suddenly her husband is out looking for younger,attractive woman.donno why i suddenly tot of that.Mayb now dat i'm getting married,it seems dat more weird things are getting in my mind.I just want my husband to love me.i know Gemok does.But its just a precaution.I'm happy with the way i am actually,its just watching that show got me thinking bout stupid stuffs.i am seriously being stupid.A guy shud love me for the way i am, not the way i look..But hey, dnt tell me u've never tot of changing urself for ur guy right.U'll be lying if u say u never tot of dat,at least once.Well watever.ok.Now is exactly 5.15 am.AM!!i'm sleepy but i cant bring myself to sleep.i havent slept from yest.so its been 2 nites and 1 day since i've slept.maybe its because he's not ard.i've gotta change..i cant expect him to be with me 24/7.Its all his fault.haha..He made me miss him so much.and he's not coming back till monday.damn!i am seriously in for a bad case of "MISSING-itis".as if there's such a word.Hahaha..alright..alright..i know i'm killing you guys with the same old thing bout me missing him..i'm gonna go now..gonna watch a bit of tv..den go to sleep..maybe i'll just sleep on the couch.too lazy to go to my room.Gd morning ppl!Time to wake up!Hahs!Cheers!
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Gotta straighten things up..Things have to change.It has too..We cant be living every single day like this..Wat to do.Wat to do.I have to adapt to new surroundings.Like for instance,I have to adapt with u not being with me 24/7..haiz..We got to change things now.It all starts now.
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One thing i dnt like is..dat u sleep all day..and when u wake up,suddenly u're going to jb.You know how much i hate dat..At least when u know u're going to jb,bangon siang2..so at least we get a bit of time to ourselves..ni tak..bgn je troz jalan..haiz..maybe i'm the one who is exaggerating.but hey..you taught me dat..Just come back early will ya?i miss you..Hate spending my weekend alone. Damnit.
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I miss the people.The people of crazie peeps.I've build such a strong bond with them.That i miss them so much.They were a part of my everyday lives.i cant help but miss them.One day,we'll meet again.One day.U were my family. And u still are.
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Changed my blog skin.Totally,Ultimate "COOLNESS"Hahs.I'm in love with dots.Even though its leaning to the left side.Its still COOL.I'm Loving It!
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We girls have this tendency to provoke our guys without us knowing it.i'm sure u agree.Today was a nightmare.i'm terrified of you right now.scared to even let u come close to me..it was my fault for being rude..and i noe i deserved it..but it has been a long time since dat happend.and now i'm scared again.haiz..i donno wat else to do..i'm juz plain terrified..I'm sorry. but pls.. dnt come close.
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My weekend was very tiring..It started out with me and gemok going to pasir ris park.his family gathering.kecoh..this was the 2nd time i met his whole family for gathering..ok la..but very tiring..and BORING!!hahaha..coz gemok was playing guitar all the way with his uncle..and i had noting todo..so i just sat and be stupid..hahaha..Gemok has an addiction to guitars..he cant see one..nmpk je..mampos..48 hari tk letak pun boleh..hahaha..tried to sleep but cnnt..bnyk sgt nyamok..den bout 2+-3..the kids came back..donno from where..now at least i gt sumbody to lyn..i lyn daniyal all the way..very tiring tau..haha..no lah..he's just a talkative boy..then bout 5+..went to sleep..penat beb..i woke up at bout 1+ the nxt day..bgn,go toilet,wash face..then sit down again do nothing..but then i gt fed up and decided to go to the playground..at least ade excitement cket..lynkn bdk2..haha..ard 6, gemok' fam went home..tinggal nenek dgn bdk2..kesian nenek..so gemok decide to temankan nenek till his aunt came..so duduk la sana lagi..haiz..den suddenly cik oli called and asked gemok to mit at the fishing pond..and guess wat..we didnt go home again dat nite..man..i'm so tired..while they were fishing..biasalah..aku tdo..gt not much interest in waiting for the fish to come...haha..went back cik oli's hse ard 4 am..then tdo smpai bsk ptg..tired tau..woke up..mandi..mkn..then watch 49th GRAMMY AWARDS!!
woohoooo!!actually i watched that show only to see my fav band..the RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS!!
and it was worth it..they ROCK!!haha..kla..now i'm waiting for gemok to wake up..and aku tgh mrajok dgn iqah and fidah..RABAK!! ADE OUTING TK AJAK!!hmmph!!
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Everytime something goes wrong..
its all my fault..
Its never anyone elses fault.
u find my smallest mistake..
But never see my biggest achievement..
when i clean the entire house..
i.e: mop the house..
:iron, wash, hang the clothes..
:clean every room..
:wash all the plates left by all of you.
:sweep the floors..
:cook for all of you.
And yet all that is never enough..
all i did was forgot to keep the vcds back in place and u shouted at me as if the house was a pig sty..
When in the 1st place,the vcds were alreadi in zikki's room b4 he left for camp.
When i had a job..
U complained that i wasnt helping at all..
i was always gone in the morning and would return late at night.
But wat do you mean i didnt help?
when u guys were happily snoring in bed..
hu was the one still awake at 4am, IN THE MORNING, washing the dishes..
Hangin the washed clothes?
Hu?
was it you?
nope!
it was me!
and i did all that when i was werking..
Now when i'm not werking cause of my stupid spine..
u still complain..
even when the house is absolutely, [GET IT?? A.B.S.O.L.U.T.E.L.Y!! ] clean..
you still pick a fight with me..
you never scold zikki that way..
its always me hu is the bad one..
u always say to zikki..
"Jgn jadi mcm kakak kau.. kakak kau tu da kena rasok setan!"
wat am i?
Deaf?
Zikki is always the good one..
no matter wat he did..
its always me hu get the blaming..
u always say its because of me he turns out this way..
when it was you who pampered him too much..
even now when u've found out he's been playing truant..
u say it my fault for defending him everytime..
for not letting you scold him.
i only defended him bout things dat didnt mattered much...
but when it comes to discipline, i never interfered..
and yet u say its all my fault..
When you came home today..
did you see that i've wiped the mirrors,glasses?
did you noticed i've mopped the floors?
did you noticed i've folded the clothes?
did you noticed that i've cook for you?
NO!!
U DIDNT NOTICE ANYTHING!
YOU NEVER DID..
SINCE I WAS SMALL..
YOUR ATTENTION WAS ONLY TOWARDS ZIKKI..
AND IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN EVER SINCE..
i never had your attention.
and u know i've lost his attention a long time ago..
just because you taught me how to be independent since i was small..
it doenst mean i dnt need u at all..
i am still your daughter..
i am still a little girl inside craving for her parents attention.
U never noticed..
Cause i didnt matter to you.
I may as well be dead then get my heart torn apart.
i tot we had each others back..
but now i realised..
it was only me hu had your back..
you were busy looking out for zikki's back.
Maybe its true what u and ayah said..
maybe i am not your daughter.
All i have now is you, Gemok.
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Bla.. Bla.. Bla..I didnt mean to make u stress everitime you go back jb..but guess wat..I MISS YOU..too much..yeah..u made me miss you..Aargh..Mayb we shud go our separate ways..bukan break gendeng..hahaha..AARGH!!tknk ah..i never want to be apart from you.NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER !!!Oh yeah..I Love You Gemok!u make me go nuts.
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Sorry has become a daily word for us both..why do we keep hurting each other when we know wats up ahead..as you lay behind me sleeping,i cant help it but cry when i look at your face..sometimes i ask myself..is this the right path for us.or is it just another mistake..Y do u really put your hopes up in us?Y do u really believe in "US"?You're weird do you know dat..And dats wat i love bout you..YOU'RE WEIRD!!Cheers!is this for real?
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I am so bored right now. want to sleep.. but my daughter havent sleep.. Gemok is already snoring like a pig inside the room.. When is it my turn to snore man?? Yeah, yeah.. i snore.. so wat? big deal.. I'm proud of it.. At least i know i'm human.. Hahahahha..
I AM SO BORED.
Oh yah.. i've learned how to edit pics yest.. took me a damn 5 hrs to find the software and learn how to do all those stuffs.. and guess wat.. after all dat photo editing yest.. now i'm bored of editing pics.. serious.. hehehe.. i get bored so easily..
well.. i'll post some pics dat i've edited.. and do comment.. Thank Kayu!! Cheers!! [Tk lawa benar muka aku.. Hahaha.] [I edited this for my daughter.] [Obviously you know who its for.] [Yes. Dat is me.. i noe. I'm GORGEOUS! No lah. Joking. :p] CHEERS!!
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ooooohhhh..i've gt a mystery tagger..hehx..i dnt care..and wat do u mean by scandal loco and scandal tazz?u envy me isit?hahaha..joking, joking..aniway..intro urself aite..i'm intrigued by who u are..cheers!!
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Gerek seh semua tinggalkan aku sorang..and dnt say i pressure u la..u chose this life pe.u chose to be apart from ur family.so dnt blame me for it.u not it damn well i cant be apart from u..when i say dnt treat me like dat so i wont get damn attached to you..u said "nvm la,so i miss you more"and yet when i'm just doin what u taught me..u scold me..gerek seh..u noe it perfectly well i hate being alone..ALONE!!paham??Urgh..No use saying aniting..all i get from u is dat i dnt understand u..watever la..if our marriage life is gonna be like dis..i dnt noe wats gonna happen in the near future..diam ah!!
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Whoa..I had a really weird dream just now..In my dreams i was married and pregnant..den i was at my sec school reunion where suddenly this bunch of vampires came barging in..it was weird seh..and of all people there,it, "IT" not "THEY"!!wanted to suck my blood..E.W.U=eeeeyuuuu!!hahaha..such a weird dream..because of dreams like this since i was small,i have this habit of covering my neck whenever i sleep..for fear of getting bitten in the neck..mrepek kan?haha..serious,if i dnt have sumting to cover my neck..i cant sleep..i would get up again and again perspiring..serious..my fear of getting my blood sucked is so great..that gemok laughs at me for my weird habit.."tu lah..masa mak ckp tkmo tgk crite hantu nk tgk jugak..kan da badi.."dats wat he always says..bastard kan si gemok tu...hahah..stupid dreams..
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Hmm..Why am i putting poems that i write here?haha...donno..juz wanna show my poetic side i guess.but i tink u can see wat type of poems mine are..its mainly those sad,sad poems bout ppl leaving u..or u're going to die..maybe its because of my stupid tragic past i supposed..mind you..i wrote all those at the age of 13..and now i've stopped..tinkin of writing more poems..maybe i will..hehx..GIVE ME INSPIRATION PPL!or.if u want me to write a poem bout aniting..tell me..and i'll write it for you aites..take care..now i really have to sleep...my eyes are half closed but yet i'm still typing away..mampos..kalau gemok dpt tau..mati aku..hehx..byes..gd morning!!
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TITLE:IT'S TRAGICTragedy pulls us together but anything tears us apartTrying hard to stay complacent but all the systems failAnd fear denies the truth that's in your heartForgetting lessons I have learnedMy mouth is shut the table turnedNo one giving time is winning againI can't shift the blame foreverSome is your and some is mineSick of searching for a solution we'll always disagreeIf the other half is too afraid to fightI'm losing the will to believeThey're marching as if they were freeHow could millions be so stupid??And it's tragic everywhere I goThis country is not what you knowNo one giving, fear is winning againStrength beyond our souls not enough to save usWay beyond control , we are all defenselessDIS ONES TITLED:DREAMSi lived in dis world which i tot was perfect.til it slapped me n made me realise.dat i was livin in a dream world.now.is the real world.a world dat i've been shuttin out.a world dat i was scared to step upon.without me knowing.i entered the real world.n left my dream world.bring me back to a world i recognise.a world where i was happy.dnt leave me here.i'll get lost here.i dnt noe where to start.its all so new to me.help me.bring me back to my world.pls.ENJOY BUT DONT COPY!THANK YOU>x))
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Here I sit, thinking only of you
Wondering what is to become of us
Understanding all you have been through
Hoping to slowly gain your trust
My heart aches for you, and also I yearn
I want to understand youIn hopes that I will learn
Your unique and special qualities amaze me
Your smile
Your mind
Your voice and its beautiful sound
Your eyes
Your hair
Your ability to cheer me up
When you see that I am down
My feelings for you go beyond that of words
And at first it didn't seem rea
lBut that just taught me a lesson
In doubting what I feel
It seems I dreamed you into life
And the reason for my stare
The bluest sky
The deepest sea
Don't even compare
RIZAL, you're so very special in every single way
And thoughts of you
Run through my head
Every hour of the day
I hope that you will understand
Just how I feel about you
I want to be your guiding hand
For all that you go through
*Till the end of times*
Copyright by Ziyanah.
(i Made It Myself Ok.Hmph. :p)
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Dont really know what to rite actually..its about,i dnt noe wat time it is..and i'm waiting for his call..he's started werking at his old place..with madi..haiz..donno why but sumting seems to be troubling me.i know he's changed but..ntah la kan..bkn nk kata tk percaya la..i do believe him..but its just dat past memories came haunting..and its just so hard to push it away.i tried my very best to push it away..as soon as it disapears..it comes back again..damn it..my life has been wonderful lately..and i dnt want to do aniting to mess it up..i just want these memories to go and bury themselves far far away..and nvr disturb me animore.i'm happy with wats goin on in my life rite now.and i want it to stay this way..i nvr want it to change..ever..
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 Jealousy can be overpowering rite dear..
now i guess its ur turn to feel all this kinds of things..
my phase was over..
now its ur turn..
hehe..
i'm sorry for makin u sad..
sorry for my harsh tone 2wards u..
but hey demok..
u noe i love u kan..
u noe i always do..
for all the shits and honey dat u gave me..
u're still my mr perfect..
with ur boncit belly..
and ur cute smile..
u are my mr perfect..
Noe wat i love bout u?
here's a list..
1) The way u make me laugh.
2) The stupid things u do to make me smile.
3) The way how u persuade me to do things i didnt want to in the 1st place.
4) The way u smile.
5) The way u walk.
6) The way u smell. (Yeah, u stink mr)
7) The way u "gelek". (Haha)
8) The way u hug me till "crack2".
9) The way u sleep.
10)The way u smile dat cheeky smile of yours.
11)The way u pout when u dnt get sumting dat u want.
12)The way u try to act cute.(Oh yes u do. Dnt deny it mr.)
I could go on and on and the list would nvr come to an end..
but guess wat..
all those things dont matter shit to me..
coz i love u..
all those stuffs cant compare to wat i'm feeling inside..
wanna noe..
u'll nvr noe..
its a secret i'll bring to my grave..
a secret as to why i love i so.
Toodles darling..
waiting for ur return to my arms tomoro..
I love you demok.
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Its been too long since i've last updated..wat else is there to say..well..Demok is now staying in my house..yeah..for real..and it has been challenging..in a good way..and bad (a lil bit)..i was at the hospital..cause of my back pains..and found out dat my spine is crooked..yeah..stupid..dont even noe how it got crooked in the first place..now have to go and see a specialist for it..it is hurting like hell..move the wrong way and u'll get me shouting like i'm dying..hahaha..donno wats gonna happen to me..juz hope it gets better soon..well..dats all basically..the days of my infintely boring life..haha..toodles..
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I've withstand the harshest pain & hurt a human can get. My weakness is love.
And i'll do anything for the people i love. I've been told that i can be intimidating, but at the end of the day, i might just be your best friend.
I do not wish to hate but if i've been hated, i'll be more than please to return the favour.
Simply said..
I'm known as P G Tazzy Yana or Tazz. I'm 22. I have 1 daughter,ZAPHIA. I'm a part of P G.
And i'm happy with my life.
