Temper. Temper. Temper. I have been so temperamental these past few days that i've been finding faults with Bby Love all the time. Ever since that fight, both of us has become uber sensitive. When the other is joking, the other would take it seriously.. And that will lead to an argument. Tsk. I just hope this doesn't prolong, cause if it does.. Then we would definitely end up worse then before.. I miss those times. I miss our laughters. I miss our jokes. I miss YOU.


On the other hand, i'm dead worried about 2 of my PG babies right now. Really really worried.
Baby Dee, pls pls pls pls go and check yourself up. You've been complaining about that pain for a few days now, & i'm fucking worried liao. So pls.. Update me on ANYTHING. And i hope you're gonna be alright.
Baby Dina, You're big enough to know what's right & what's wrong, or even what's good & what's bad. I do not want to tell you what to do anymore, cause it's your life now. I do not want you to suffer by yourself. I will be here to be a listening ear to you, but that is all that i can do. The rest is all up to you. Be strong Bby.. Be strong.


Tomorrow will be our 3rd Month-sary. And i realy realy hope that we do not end up fighting. Haiz..

(*Sumpah ni note tk perlu, but wat the heck..*
This post was supposedly to be posted yesterday,29th March. But due to my lazyness & because i had no mood,i chucked it aside. So don't mind the date.)

"I wanna cry but at the same time i'm laughing.. i wanna lie down and never wake up but yet i wanna go out and release this angst.. All this is too much for me to bear... I'm still smiling & laughing but inside me, something's changing.. I'm feeling a change in me, a change in my surroundings & i don't like it. "

Firstly, things btwn me & Bby Love are ok now.. No matter how i tried to let him go, he just wouldn't budge and say yes. He kept on insisting that he'll never leave me & never let me go... And to hear him crying on the other end of the line, just breaks my heart. I didn't want to leave him, i didn't want to let go.. but at that moment of time, i thought that it was the best thing to do.. because of some particular reasons.. buttt.. we're ok now. =)
No matter how i try, i just can't lie and make myself believe that i can leave him. Cause i just love him too much.

Bby, let's make this as a lesson to both of us. We both made mistakes & we
had to learn it the hard way, unfortunately. But it's all over now.. And we'll work through it again. I love you Hadidi Fadzly. I really do. I just can't deny the fact that, i'm ready to spend the rest of my life with YOU.

2ndly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY P Gs!!
Happy birthday.
Even though we didn't get to meet up & celebrate it, it is still a memorable day for me. Lets stay strong. Lets never give up on each other. Lets forever be as one. =)

P G.. Pompan Giler..
It was created out of random & out of boredom by me & Dee. We decided to just open it up for fun. We pulled friends in, getting them to know each other. We had hangouts, we had outings. We had fun. Originally, we were in P G just for fun. But it turned out to be much more.We began to feel the bond.
We became a FAMILY.
People began to notice us, because we were different. We dared to be different. We dared to be OURSELVES. And 1 by 1, each of the P Gs followed our footsteps. 1 by 1, they opened up & we became closer. Even though some have gone MIA or have backed out, we still stood strong. Throughout the 1 year since P G was born, we have always had fights, misunderstandings & miscommunications. But we still manage to resolved it. We hated one another, we fight , we cursed, we even gossipped about each other. But in our hearts, we knew we still needed each other. We knew that the bond we shared couldn't be forgotten just like that. Some came, stayed.. some even went away. But the few of us who still sticked to each other, we were blessed. We were blessed to have known each other, to have hated each other & to have learn. And i am PROUD to be a part of P G. No matter how people hated us, or criticised us.. it didn't matter. Cause we know, we're not fake. We know we will still have each other no matter what. And for that, i wanna say,
Thank you Girls. Thank you for staying. Thank you for putting up with my behaviour. Thank you for being my, FAMILY. =)

To Eesya, i've already forgave you. So don't worry. And whoever
said you were out of P G? You were the one that pulled yourself out. No matter
what, u're still & forever will be a part of P G. It might take a while for
me to forget what has happened, but don't worry. I have already forgiven you. =) Oh yah, why the heck are you so scared of me? Aku mkn org keee??
=p

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way..

It hurts so badly.. And this smile i'm faking, is just making it worse.

Today.. is just not my day.. fuck.
MAJOR major misunderstanding with Bby Love.. Disappointed with one of my fellow P Gs. Haizzz.

You were the one that made me smile all along. You were the one that i thought was different. But in a blink of an eye, you took it all away. Yes, i sounded heartless.. i sound cruel.. But tell me how could i cry and be weak when i know you need me. When i know i have to be strong for you?! I guess, all along you never really understood me. You never really knew why i was doing all those. I had to act tough, act as if it never affect me, because i know myself. I know that I'LL only make matters worse & that is not what i want. I know i've gotta act tough, cause you need me. But if to you, it still seems that i don't care.. den so be it. If to you, it's all such a waste changing, then go. Since now you choose to be who you were before, a heartless jerk, then go. Go away & never come back. Cause it only shows that i've failed in making you believe in love. I've failed in trying to show you, that YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS MAKING ME SMILE ALL ALONG.
Bby Love, thank you. & Good bye. =_(


To make things worse, P G is also falling apart..

P G is turning 1 in less than 24 hrs time. And it marks a very very special day 4 me. Cause P G is undeniably one of the most important things in my life. And for YOU to come and say "Why shud we celebrate it? It's not like it's anyone's birthday whut.", just breaks my heart.. P G means nothing to you does it? If it doesn't, then stop calling us your family..
In the first place, why the heck do you call us your family and then say all those shits? It fucking hurts.
You said that we always fight, we always hate each other and i'm sure Dee has told you what i've said to her.. Now, i want you to come and bring me a Family that never fights & never hated one another before. Until the day you find me that family, then that will be the day that i declare P G closed. And what do you mean we hate each other?? Tell me specifically now, who hates you? Cause as far as i know, whatever differences each of us have or had, we've already cleared it out. We ALWAYS manage to clear it out. Maybe it's you who hates us, not us hating one another. Maybe it's you who feels that you don't belong, that's why you say all those shits. We never hated each other, we only argue. And to any sane people in the world, that is obviously a normal thing too. But if to you it is such a big thing, then why bother to be with us or make gatherings to reunite in the first place? Why say you miss us? Why do you even bother with P G in the first place? Why babe? Why?
Get hurt all you want, cause i don't fucking care anymore. You've hurt me enough when you said, "Buat pe nk celebrate? Bukan sape2 nye birthday pe."
I've had enough.


I'm crying my eyes out.. cause it may just be the day i lose Hadidi Fadzly, the LOVE of my life.

Just a little something-something i got through my email..
I'm on the phone with Bby Love who is sleeping on the other end,& i've got no heart to put the phone down. Hee. =D
Funny hor? But it's always either one of us(mostly ME),who is sleeping on the phone & the other one wouldn't be mad a single bit.
The sound of Bby Love snoring is like music to my ears...



Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
DO'S
Stability and dependability characterize Taurus. They like people who can blend and grow with them. If you have a Taurus partner you should appreciate all things bright and beautiful. They have an inherent artistic sense and are fond of colour and music. Judge life with them from a purely materialistic point of view. Enjoy everything luxurious that money can provide. Enjoy good food (better if you can cook to please them) and good drinks with them.

DON'TS
Taureans do not loose their temper easily(100% true abt Bby Love) in fact you may spend the whole life with them and still no spark, but you should not push your luck too much. Being unreasonable or aggressive with them may get you into trouble. Do not press him/her into a corner, and if you do, be prepared for a violent rage. Taurus is capable of violent outbursts though such an event is very rare occasions. They can be suffocating when they are possessive about you.


Gemini (May 21 - June 21)
DO'S
Gemini is a highly intellectual and versatile person. If you have a Gemini partner you have to match your wits with his/her wits to keep the zing in the relationship. They want to be mentally stimulated so you have to be good at conversing. Your sense of humour will get you a permanent residence(baca ni btol2 Bby. I told you so kannn?) in the heart of a Gemini. Be more communicative with them, and if you are good at this, you will never know how hours pass by holding each other's hand.

DON'TS
Gemini's like to do many things at the same time, so if unfortunately you are the type who is looking for stability you may get disappointed. Do not hold back a Gemini or you may lose him/her, as they are restless and need change in life constantly. You should try to adopt yourself with the ever-changing Gemini. Orthodox or conservative old fashion ideas are no-no in their dictionary. Change with the ever-changing Gemini and do not flow against the current.

Judging by the number of posts i've written in 1 day, it really does show you that i am EFFING bored. Even though i've just finished sweeping & mopping the whole house, i still am bored. Tsk.
I don't know why i'm being such a good daughter today, cleaning the house like a mad dog. But it just gives my skin the creepy crawlies seeing the house in a pig's sty state.(literally)
So yeah, i'm done with the hall, dining room & kitchen. What's left is for me to really go clean out my room, change all the bedsheets and clear all those unwanted junks. Maybe later tonight. I'm shagged out after bending over & over again from mopping the house. Gonna catch some sleep before heading out to meet Mummy Dearest later at JP. See you people again tonight. =)


And to EESYA, nak gmbr ehhh?? buat bodoh sudah dgn kauuu!! Hahahahaha!!






*Add-ons* @ 12.15am

Ever had this feeling where you find yourself getting jealous of the ex of your partner? Even though they are no longer together or even talking, but you still get a sense of jealousy every now & then. And it makes it much more worse when the ex has a blog and you read about all those times your partner had with em. Terrible i tell you. I know it's nothing to be jealous or even worried about, but afterall, we are still humans. & to stop the nature of feelings, is just not the right way.
Feelings about The Ex = Understandable. But what if it was someone who your partner was particularly close to before? Someone meaning of the different sex. You know that they are just that, just friends who are close.. but you still can't help but feel threatened by their very existence. And it's something you're not proud of to admit, cause it'll only end up making you look like a fool. Haiz.
I just hate myself when it comes to this part. I guess my insecurities just makes it a whole lot worse. Even though, deep in my heart, i know that my Baby only loves me. But i just can't help having all these stupid feelings. Let's just hope it all goes away soon. Cause i hate having doubts on my Bby Love, when i know he's done nothing wrong at all.

*Add-ons*

I copied this survey from P G Baby Eesya's blog cause i can't seem to get to sleep yet. Let's hope after this, i can get some shut eye.
Do it if you feel like you want to.


Write the names of 21 friends you can think off the top of your head,
And then answer the questions.
Say you’re guessing if you don’t know, but at least guess on all of them.
After doing this, tag your 21 friends to do the same.

1) P G Baby Dee
2) P G Baby Dina
3) P G Baby Eesya
4) P G Baby Shidah
5) P G Baby Kykie
6) P G Baby Que
7) Baby Girl Zaphia
8) Bby Love Hadidi
9) Lynn Tai
10) Apiz
11) Ashraf
12) Mushy2
13) Mama[N]alo
14) Alfian
15) Haziq
16) Ban
17) Hisyam
18) Kow Foo Onn
19) Syafiqah
20) Nani
21) Fidah

How did you meet 7? (ZAPHIA)
- Err. I gave birth to her lahh..

What would you do if you and 15 had never met? (HAZIQ)
- Then i would probably never trust anyone again.

What would you do if 20 and 1 dated? (DEE & NANI)
- EWWWW!! Lesbian hoi!

Have you ever seen 17 cry? (HISYAM)
- Nope.

Would 4 and 16 make a good couple? (SHIDAH & BAN)
- Don't think so siaaaa.. Hahaha.

Do you think 11 is attractive? (ASHRAF)
- In a chubby way, yes.

What’s 2’s favorite color? (DINA)
- Blue. BABY BLUE!

When was the last time you talked to 9? (LYNN TAI)
-A week ago.

What language does 8 speak? (HADIDI)
- His own language, which only i can understand. LOL.

Who is 13 going out with? (MAMA[N]ALO)
- Dunno. He's been an ass lately, so i havent asked much.

What grade is 16 in? (BAN)
-Dunno.

Would you ever date 17? (HISYAM)
- Si gendut tuuuu?! Ahh tkpelahh.. Kwn laki aku hoi.

Where does 18 live? (ONN)
- Chinatown.

What is the best thing about 4? (SHIDAH)
- A great dancer & a musical idiot. LOL.

What would you like to tell 10 right now? (APIZ)
- "STUPID KAMBINGG!!" =D

What is the best thing about 20? (NANI)
- I.R.R.I.T.A.T.I.N.G. =)

Have you ever kissed 2? (DINA)
- Yup2!! Lots of times.

What’s the best memory you have of 5? (KYKIE)
- Her birthday at Sentosa.

When’s the next time you’re going to see 4? (SHIDAH)
- Ntahlah tu anak.. Bnyk2, dia lah yg paling susah nk jumpe.

How is 7 different from 6? (ZAPHIA & QUE)
- 1 is my daughter & the other 1 is my beloved P G Baby!

Is 2 pretty? (DINA)
- Abehh! Kalau aku lelaki, aku da terpikat hoi!

What was your first impression of 15? (HAZIQ)
- Stuck-up, irritating jerk.

How did you meet 3? (EESYA)
- Through Friendster.

Is 15 your best friend? (HAZIQ)
-Nope.

Do you hate 12? (MUSHY2)
- Of course not! He's one of my best boy-friends!!

Have you seen 18 in the last month? (ONN)
- Nope. It's been a while.

When was the last time you saw 16? (BAN)
-2 weeks ago.

Have you been to 5’s house? (KYKIE)
- Nope

When’s the next time you’ll see 10? (APIZ)
- Dunno. He still owes me a movie treat.

Are you close to 11? (ASHRAF)
- Yesyes. We're a part of the "3 ABDULS".

Have you been to the movies with 4? (SHIDAH)
- Nope.

Have you gotten in trouble with 8? (HADIDI)
- Errr. Yup2.

Would you give 19 a hug? (SYAFIQAH)
- Yes.

When have you lied to 3? (EESYA)
- Hmm. Loads of times? TAK LAHHH!! Hahahaha.

Is 11 good at socializing? (ASHRAF)
-Very.

Do you know a secret about 8? (HADIDI)
- Alot lah siolll!

Describe the relationship between 12 and 18? (ONN & MUSHY2)
- Strangers.

What’s the best thing about your friendship with 9? (LYNN TAI)
- She's the irritating malay-speaking chinese girl that i love so much cause i can trust her with anything. =)

What’s the worst thing about 6? (QUE)
- None, i must say. REALLY!

Have you ever had a crush on 12? (MUSHY2)
- HELL NO!! Hahahaha.

How long have you known 2? (DINA)
- Let's see.. 2yrs++.

Does 11 have a bf/gf? (ASHRAF)
- Nope. He just broke up.

Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face? (DEE)
- NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!

Has 21 met your mother? (FIDAH)
- Nahhh.

How did you meet 11? (ASHRAF)
- Same work place.

Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3? (EESYA)
- Does poking count? lol.

Do you live close to 7? (ZAPHIA)
-1 house lah deyy!

What is 8’s favorite food? (HADIDI)
- JUNK!

What kind of car does 1 have? (DEE)
- Toy car. Hahahahha.

Have you traveled anywhere with 9? (LYNN TAI)
- "DRUNK" land. ^^

If you gave 14 $100, what would they spend it on? (ALFIAN)
- Probably his bike.



GOODBYE!! =D

Disappointment from a loved one can be very very heart-breaking isn't it? Be it either from a close friend, or even a family member or even perhaps your partner, it is still heart shattering to bear. Especially if the disappointment comes from that particular person lying to you. Even though it's a small matter, it still hurts as much. Haiz.
I just hope there's nothing more that you've kept from me Bby Love. Cause i'm not sure if i can take anymore suprises or disappointment. True, i've said it a gazillion times that i can't take it any longer, but how much can a person take till he/she breaks? Let's just hope that, that'll be the last.
& don't worry, i still trust you. =)


I've yet to upload the video of the P G Babies cause either blogger or my comp, is being an ass. So i guess you girls just gotta wait. For now, i'm gonna catch some sleep. Baby Girl is sick & has just fallen asleep behind me. so i guess i should too. Later Loves!

I'm still not done with my blog yet. Some things are still not yet complete.. So i guess you guys just have to wait.

Ahhh.. more pictures later. I'm having a terrible migrain for staring at the comp for too long. sheesh.

BLOG UNDER MAINTENANCE. again.
I'm too tired. I'm dozing off on the comp as i'm changin my layout. Gotta stop here.
Be back soon. Bye.

I've got so much to update, loads of pictures to upload but i'm too tired to do so much. && also that i can't find my blardy usb cable and MMC adapters. Grrr..
Well let me just update abit about wats going on. I just got back from a karaoke session with Baby Dee & other frens, hanging out at Clarke Quay till 7 am just now. Fun! Fun! Fun! i tell ya! =D
Had a small tiff with Bby Love just now over an itsy bitty matter, but it's all cleared now. And i missing that bugger alot alot.

Oh yeah, remember the tenting plan i had? Yeahh, me & Bby Love did went to Changi on Wed. Reached ard 9pm..pitched the tent & just lazed around. The tent was so damn effing big that me & Bby Love could practically play cathcing inside it. LOL. Did some kite flying & Bby Love was being super duper cute running here & there just to keep the blardy kite up in the air. I did some too, but was only caught on cam & stared at by Bby Love, who kept smiling & coming over me just to plant a big wet kiss on me. Much distraction when you're flying kite? Very. =)
Unfortunately, it rained at about 4 , 5am.. Wasn't much to worry about as our tent was big till the water didn't even reach us. Bby Love was damn hyper when the rain was coming, and he was being so so damn adorable, giggling here & there just waiting for the rain to come. Jakon lah katakannnn.. Hahaha. So yeah, managed to get some sleep thinking that we wanted to wake up early to go for a lil dip. But was quite surprised that we woke up at 2pm. Hahaha. We sort of woke up, go back to sleep, woke up & go back to sleep all over again till 2. So got up, jumped into the sea.. Did some stupid & funny things and got out, only to realised that it was 6pm. Bby Love did somemore kite flying, blablabla.. went for a dip again and then packed up, washed up & headed to have some late dinner.
Believe me, i was already super duper shagged at could have dozed off at any moment, but Bby Love was still hyper at hom e& he didn't want to sleep even though it was almost 4 in the morning. Had to scold him & forced him to get some rest as he had to work later on in the evening. So yeah, slept & woke up at 3pm the next day. Bby Love went to work & i met up with Bby Dee to collect our pay. and here i am now, after a long long week of fun. =)

Pfft. Gonna start working like an idiot again soon this coming week, & i'm already missing Bby Love. I'm gonna go now & go ransack my room for my MMC reader. I don't think i'll be sleeping anytime soon, cause some of the P G Babies are gonna come over my house for some cooking session (that's what they say, when the fact is I'M the one who will be doing ALL the cooking!!).
Urrgh. I'm gonna be super super dead by the end of tonight. Let's just hope i can find my MMC reader & upload some pics before those louad-hailers come and rip me off my sleep. URRGH!

Enjoy your wkend ppl. It's a nice to day to hang out with frens & love ones. =)

I'm supposed to be working now, but for the fact that, that IDIOT is captain-ing for this whole week, i've decided to give it a miss. I just can't stand to look at his blardy face. It'll just get my blood boiling & it will totally ruin my day.

Had a girls day out with Mummy & Baby Girl yesterday. SHOPPINGG!! We were at Jurong Point for the whole day, & it still didn't seem enough for us. Even though my hands were already cramp from all the shopping bags, mummy still wanted to walk around and look for unneccesary stuffs.Begging me to keep on walking cause she said she miss the times going out with me. (cute kan mak akuuuu!!) Lol. It has been quite a while since i've went out shopping with mummy. & as you know, going out with mummy means none of my money was being spent! Hahaha. Mummy was being a darling & bought for me quite a few stuffs. Mp3, new set of clothes. Gerek lah hoiii.. Hahaha. So yeah, the family will be going for their short trip to Tioman later tonight. And i'll be making my short trip to Bby Love's house. Yayy! Lil bro will be all alone at home, cause he didn't want to follow the others, saying he wants to study for his "N's". I wish i could follow them to Tioman, but no matter. There's still June holidays!

Bby Love had planned to go tenting 2moro. And i'm damn excited bout it. it'll be like only the 2 of us, embracing each other & all. And i'm not gonna miss it for the world! Can't wait! Can't wait! =D

I think i'm gonna get back to sleep for awhile. Gotta save up my energy for some P G session later on. & also some for Bby Love!
MUACKS!! Later ppl.

I'm dead beat after a long day at work. I feel like i'm gonna drop dead soon, but instead here i am crying.. stupid? I sure am. My mind is going bezerk thinking of stupid shits. Thinking of how he's got some other girl behind my back blablabla.. Not really sure what sparked this idiotic thoughts. 1 moment i was bloghopping & the next moment, i'm crying like some silly girl. Tsk.

Had a heated argument with one of the captains at work just now. I dwear to god that he is the biggest asshole i've ever met in my whole entire life. He's an idiot who talks too damn loud, a fucking pervert who won't stop looking at girl's boobies & an idiot who thinks that he's always right, even though he's always screwing things up. Oh yeah, a lazy ass too. I almost punched him the face but because of the great buddies i've made there, i just walked away. Sometimes i wish that the company would kick him out again, so we would have peace again. But then, if the idiot of the family is gone, then someone else would have to take his place right? Arrrghh whatever. I'm just talking crap so that i'll stop thinking of those stupid thoughts that Bby Love is cheating on me. I guess missing him too much made me think of all this stupid things. I'm sure that Bby Love ain't doing any of that. Let's just hope i can get myself to believing that every single second.
I think it's better if i went off to bed now. I'm just not in the right mind to think anything else.

P G Eesya, kau jgn ehk... Aku betol2 simpan laki aku dlm store sak nanti.. hahaha.
P G Keciq, i'm always here for you bby. I'm forever here. Believe in me, believe in yourself. I'll be beside you till all this ends. =)

And who would have thought that my Bby Love could be the sweetest thing on earth?!
He left me a comment saying,
Now tell me, HOW SWEET IS THAT?!! Hadidi Fadzly, I love you so much. I swear.

And i'm in love all over again with...




lol.
I was tuning to the radio just now and i heard em playing a song by Backstreet Boys. And it sure brings back memories. Initially, i wanted to put the song "I'll never break your heart". But then i saw "Incomplete".
So here's Incomplete by Backstreet Boys.Sit back & enjoy. =)

Funny how things are really.. Funny how you don't feel at home anymore in your OWN house. Partially my fault for not spending time at home, but if the environment at home just don't feel welcoming, would you think you would go back and face all those craps? Tsk. I'm landing myself in hot water as i type all these words, cause i know this post will surely end up to my mother's knowing, but hey..what the heck. One just can't keep things for far too long.
Everytime i reach home, an argument would for sure erupt, all because of "MONEY". And if that isn't enough, all craps about responsibilities & other stupid craps would suddenly emerge and be a part of the argument too. Even taking a bath would suddenly become a major issue. I really don't know when or how we suddenly drifted apart. It's like all of them are against me, with the exception of my daughter of course. I know i haven't done enough on my part of playing the role of a daughter & sister.. but sometimes it's just terribly hard to try that sometimes i give up without even trying. The daily struggles i go through can't even match half of what i'm going through at home.
Arrgh. Fuck it. Going on & on about this is surely gonna kill my mood for the next few days.

Oh yes. Love has started working a week ago & it has been a lil tough cause his schedule & mine always clash. But we'r still hanging on & getting it through a single day at a time. Sometimes i just wish that i could just lie in his arms and never be apart. But too bad, we don't usually get what we always want. Things btwn me & Love are ok, only for the occasional "u mrajok, i mrajok" thingy. Besides that, everything is going on well. =)
Ohhh. Just another thing, ever been in a situation where your friends are his friends & his friends are your friends too? Elaboration.. It's like, before you both get together, you're always communicating with other friends and hanging out alot.. But ever since you both got together, friends seem to just "disappear". Ain't their fault actually, cause obviously it's ours to start with. But sometimes i can't help but feel terribly guilty, guilty of hogging Love all to myself and giving non of his time to his friends. Even though Love has reassured me time & time again that i wasn't at fault, but i just can't help it.. Cause when i'm with him, friends or whoever that call to chill, he'll just say he's busy or lazy. I definitely do not want his friends to go around saying, that Love has changed or has forgotten bout em, behind his back. And same goes to my clique too. I've not been to most outings that they hold & sometimes i feel like i'm betraying them, especially Baby Dee. Cause no matter how, whenever i had a bf back then, i would always have time for my P G Babies, but now.. seems like everytime i ring em up, dey would already be outside hanging out. I'm at a lost.. Cause i don't wish for Love's name to be talked badly behind others.. And also to be ostracised by my P G Babies cause i'm spending way too much time with Love.

I'm having a terrible migrain & on top of that i'm feeling very very depressed. Don't know what's going with me these few days but it seems that i'm always feeling sad & down. No matter how i try to think of happy thoughts, i'll just end up back in my moody state. This feeling is somewhat like,something bad is gonna happen.. I really don't know what else to do. Sick, moody.. Fuck lah. I'm seriously feeling like banging my head on the wall or something.. or maybe take a couple of sleeping pills & sleep my sorrowness away. But what good would it do? I'll still end up waking feeling very very sad.

Let's hope meeting the Love tomorrow can cheer me up. 1 thing is for sure. I can't wait to be in his arms again. =)

I guess at times i cross the line without even knowing it.
I never knew you felt the same way too. And i guess it was my mistake for not telling you bout it. But why must it be that, everytime we're apart, we always argue.. we always quarrel.. I don't know what else to say, but sorry. I know i was a disappointment to you when you read my previous post. I know i hurt you. And i'm sorry. But as i've told you before, my blog is where i write what i feel, what i'm going through. Yes, it does hurt when i don't tell it to you, but then i write about it all down at my blog. But i just can't help it. My blog is the only space for me that i feel like i'm alive, like i can be myself. Yes, it's public, and anyone can read it. But i don't give a damn. I don't give a hoot to what those idiots gotta say about what i write. I just care about what you think. About what you feel. True enough, some posts might be inapropriate for the public. Not that i wanna declare to the whole world that i'm having a tiff with you. But i express myself better through writing. That has always been the way i am, ever since i was a little girl. So here i am, offering my apologies to you.. If i ever hurt you or disappoint you in any way. But rest assure, i'm still loving you as much as i did the very first time.

Baby, i love you. I don't give a shit about what people say about me. About how dumb or stupid i am for falling in love with you. It's my life, not theirs. So why bother? I never cared less to what they wanna curse or label me. All it matters is we both know what we feel for each other is true. Yes at times, i feel like you're being an ass (sorry!) but that doesn't make me love you any less. In fact, all those flaws, all those qualities in you are what makes me fall deeper & deeper in love with you. I'm taking a great big risk by putting my whole entire life in your hands.. But it's a risk i'm willing to take. Cause i can feel it in me. Let's hope you feel the same way too.

For now, let's talk things out. Let's sit and try to work things out. Cause for every single argument that we have, we always get a million times more fun in exchange. Hold my hand baby, and together.. We'll make it happen. =)

Don't know why but i'm having crappy feelings right now. I've got no mood all of a sudden & seems like everything Bby does will piss me off. It's like history is repeating, but i don't know what.. don't know when.
Pls.Pls. Don't let the past come back. Cause i don't think i can take anymore hurt. And i DEFINITELY do not want to hurt the person i love.
Fuck. I hate this feeling.

=(

URGHH!! Me and my ithcy hands! I certainly did something so so dumb.. I was bored and decided to mess around with my blogskin.. and it totally ended up with everything gone wrong!! My previous blogskin somehow couldn't be applied and i had to start from scratch again, modifying this & that. How stupid could i possibly get??! I was so damn pissed off at myself, and Bby was laughing and smiling, trying to console me. Till he decided to help me out, by sitting next to me and was massaging my legs for me. Cute lil bugger..
So now, my blog is incomplete.. cause my eyes have been staring at this comp for so damn long. I've gotta take a break. I shall get it done maybe it 2 or 3 days time. Haiz.
Stupid lah sgt uh ni Tazzy..


Oh yah.. Links will be up soon. And some other stuffs too. I guess u guys just gotta wait. =D

"HAPPY 2 MONTH-SARY Bby Love. "

Headed out to town area just now with Love. Cause it was our 2 month-saryyyy! Yeayy! Went to The Cathay with the initial plan of catching a movie, but i forgot that someone wasn't yet 18. Pfft. So off we went, all around town playing arcade and just having fun. Headed to Lau Pa Sat at ard 9+..And we sat there till almost 12! Hahaha. Cause we both were having trouble finishing the food we ordered. Actually, it was only Bby who was having the trouble.. cause i had already gave up earlier!! Hahaha. To think back, we didn't ordered much.. 20 sticks of satay,stingray, omelette, cereal prawns & rice. Finished up, walked to city hall to catch the bus home. And here we are at home, bloated & full. Bby's behind me, lying on the couch and dead bored cause i'm not entertaining him. A million times i've said it & i'll say it again.
I LOVE HADIDI FADZLY. & there's no stopping it. =D





On another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY KYKIE!!!





Went to Sentosa on Sat morning to celebrate one of the P G Babies birthday.. It was P G Kykie's birthday & boy was she surprised when me & Baby Dee came out with the birthday cake. The look on her face was priceless.. And we had fun. It's been awhile since we all met up & had fun, and that day was really really memorable for me. Let's do that again some time soon aite babies!


Oh yah, i bumped into an old friend who was an affiliate of Haziq, and he told me that Haziq had sent me a letter saying some things. I've yet to see that letter. And i was also told that Haziq wants me to send him a letter. I'm not sure whether i should, better yet.. i don't even know what i should write to him. And Bby was feeling rather insecure when i told him about it cause he's scared i might go back to Haziq when he comes out. But what happened between me & Haziq was a thing of the past. And i surely am not gonna let my relationship with Bby go just like that for someone who left me alone.