Going through old msges and i can't help but let tears fall.. Cause i miss you. I miss waking up to finding loads of msges from you, saying you miss me.

Am i being too stubborn-headed? I guess so. But i can't help it.
Imagine waking up feeling very happy cause you miss someone,cause you can't wait to msg them. Then checking your email next to find out that,that special someone has sent you a msg and you're already smiling wide thinking that they'll say they miss you. But then you read on only to feel your heart breaking and to find your tears running down your cheeks. Imagine the shock and pain that i had to feel. Imagine the confusion that was running through my mind at that point of time.

I'm not blaming you entirely boy.. I know partly this is all my fault too. But just try and imagine the shock i had to go through that particular day. Imagine how hard i cried, thinking over and over again what i did wrong to you. It was just so damn heartbreaking.
People have been telling me that i'm too stubborn-headed & that i should give you another chance. Maybe i should, maybe i shouldn't. I just don't know. And they seem to be putting all the blame on me too. Asking me to re-think carefully, asking me to just soften up & let things go. But do they know how i felt? Do they even know how i fucking felt my heart breaking on that day? Do they know all that? I don't think so. I do appreciate their help for trying to get us back together, but i'm just scared. And i'm sure i have done my fair share of irritating them by always talking about you. =)

Yes, true enough.. sometimes my stubborness can get in the way of great things. But sometimes, my stubborness is the only thing i can rely on to keep myself alive. And so far, i'm not doing too bad. Only that whenever i see you standing there at Bar 5, how i wish i could just go up to you and hug you like i used too. And i'll only end up walking away in tears. Cause its hurting so damn bad. Just now, when you rode your bike out of Zouk's gate.. i was wishing that you would turn and look at me. But you didn't, and i cried. Cause in my heart, i know i've lost you.
Do you know how i was trying to catch a glimpse of you the whole night? Just the sight of you would make my heart skip a beat & i would be contented. I couldn't concentrate on work. All i did was think of you.

Funny how things work. 1 minute, you're in love & the next your heart feels like it has been ripped out from your chest. Boy, you dragged me into your confusion & now you got me confused too. How i wish things didn't turn out this way. How i wish we were both still talking & loving each other like we used too. For now, i'm just too confused. Cause half of me wants you, but the other half just wants to be alone.