A new year.. A new chapter.. I don't know what are things now btwn me and Rizal..
I don't know if we are still together.. or it is the end of us.. As the clock struck 12 yesterday, tears rolled down my eyes.. I miss him so much but at the same time i loathe him.. Loathe him for making me suffer.. For making me cry.. Yesterday's countdown was full of tears for me. It wasn't a happy one. It wasn't a fun one.. As people went around congratulating each other.. I sat one corner and cried.. Cried thinking why was this happening.. When is this all going to end..

I feel lost without him but at the same time empowered by the feeling of hatred. Every night will be a sleepless night for me as everything i look at reminds me of him.. Everywhere i go reminds me of him.. I haven't been going home for a few days cause i know he'll be looking for me at my house. I have been avoiding contact with him.. And it kills me by doing so.. I don't want to hurt him.. But if this is what it takes to get an answer.. Then i'll suffer through it alone..


"Where do we stand now? as Lovers? Friends? or Enemies? I still am finding out."