And at times like this, how i wished my heart abandons me.
The trauma, the paranoia all comes running back to me.

I'm trying to stay cool, stay calm as though it has no effect. But somehow, it's overpowering my senses, telling me to go find out more.

Oh yes, it still hurts to know that i still can't trust you fully. It hurts to know that you're capable of doing it over & over again.
Believe me, it fucking hurts alot.
But when the signs are showing itselves more & more, tell me, should i just ignore it or pursue it?

And yet again, all i can do is wait. Just wait till the truth shows itself.
So for now, let me be. Let me be, looking at you suspiciously, curiously, with no trust, no faith at anymore.
I'm sorry.


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