This is BY FAR the longest i've gone without seeing him. My heart still feels the pain from that awful day.

How am i doing? I guess i'm coping well. But there will be times when i still wished we were still together.. There will be times when i'll start thinking of him & cry again. I'm not as certain to where i'm leading my life to. I've felt the need to club & drink again, but i'll let it go as soon as i thought about it. I kept my promise to him, to not drink & club no more but sometimes i wonder.. Is it still worth it for me to keep my promises to him when he has broken his? I'm even wondering, will there ever be us again? It is sad to say, but at times.. i wished i never knew him at all. I mean, i gave him my all, my everything and in return i only got hurt. So isit selfish of me to think that way? I couldn't care less what other people say about me, but hearing what they say about him. Hearing how they say how well he has moved on, just leaves me more broken. Broken to think that he, was the one i thought was the perfect guy. I still do love him & yes, i am still hoping he will return. But as the clock ticks, i wonder if he thinks the same way too? I wonder if he ever thinks of me anymore? Or has he really moved on..