27 June 2009 7:17 PM
It' such a saddening thought that an icon has passed away.


Rest in peace M.J.
It will never be the same again without you.


23 June 2009 7:57 PM
I'm bored. I'm hungry. & i'm ALONE.
3 more hours till BbyLove knocks off from work. & i can't wait to be in his arms again.
Oh yeah.. & to go makan too! =D

22 June 2009 12:26 AM
As promised to Diana Lush, a post dedicated to a lady named, ZUHRA. =)

:- Remember me? The "MINAH" who kept stalking you in Woodlands with Fath? Haha.
Babe, let me ask you something. What do you get from trying to brag about this so-called picture of Fath with another girl? What do you aim to achieve actually huh?
Crush their marriage? Ruin their lives? Yeah.. yeah.. I know you've said it OVER & OVER again that your life does not revolve around her, that you don't care bout Fath anymore, blablabla..
But thennnnn, if SERIOUSLY your don't care bout him or their lives anymore, then why the heck did you even brought up the matter of that picture in the very first place??! Oh god, girl i seriously do not understand your motive in all this. You knew it was gonna bring up questions in Diana's mind & that maybe an argument will occur too.. so if you still wanna say that you're not trying to break their marriage apart,then the only reason i can come up with is that you're a liar.

Seriously babe, I am not here trying to make you hate me or whatsoever, or even to side on Diana. But i just can't stand you lying over & over again, trying to play the innocent one.
Remember, YOU LEFT HIM when he was trying to make amends to you. And now here you are trying to create this ruckus which should have never even start in the 1st place. You could have just kept your mouth shut but nooooo, you decided to just open your mouth & blabbed about the picture. You keep saying Fath is worthless & all that shits, but hey that was when you WAS with him. You don't know him anymore to have the power to be judging him that way. & that picture?
That's the best you can come up with? Pffft. Even i could do better with some picture editting. LOL. Where was this "so-called" girlfriend that you claimed was with Fath? Either i'm blind or dumb, but i definitely do not see any girl with him.

Cry all you want, rant all you want in your blog about how "Minahrep" Diana & me are being. Personally, i would be proud for you to be calling me a MINAH, despite the fact that i'm no longer one. Hey, i'm not ashamed of who i was before & i definitely am not going to deny any single bit of that fact. Minah ke, ape ke yang kau nk panggil aku dgn Diana, panggil lahhh. Tkde effect langsong lah hoi..
Oh yes, for you to be calling names on Diana... Oh wow. Really does show your childish side doesn't it? Be a real lady & face up to the truth. You started all this, why not just be the big one & apologise. Being the one to apologise doesn't make you the idiot or the weak one, at the very least, it'll show us that you still have some brains left in you. One more thing, do you think by privatising your blog and all, makes you more "superior" or "powerful"? Hah. It just proves to us more how much of a coward you are.

Let's just put it this way, you may have you band of sisters & friends to back you up. But no one knows you well enough than the ALMIGHTY ONE above. And yeah, you are most definitely welcome to tag me or to even write about me. It would be such an honour to have you grace upon my blog & my life. =D


BbyLove has gotten me stuck on Mafia Wars! And it's playing in my mind, over & over & over & over again. Pfft. Kongasam peh budak kecik..


21 June 2009 5:31 PM
Do you still want to be with me till the end of time? Do you still want me?
WILL YOU STILL LOVE ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO?

What you said left me thinking. It really banged my head hard. I realised that i was already losing you without knowing.
Bit my bit, i was wearing you off and you finally uttered those undesirable words. And when you uttered those words, it made me cringe.
Cringe because my paranoia came back. And all those stupid thoughts came back. How could i have not see, that all these while i've been losing you with my attitude?
I'm sorry for all that i've done. I'm sorry for wearing you patience thin. And i'm sorry.. for making you feel this way.
I'm willing to take all the blame if it means still keeping you here with me. I don't care what people wanna say, cause i really can't take it anymore.
This feels like the first time i fell in love with you, where i was wary & cautious. I feel so sick.
So very very sick. =(

" I'm walking on thin ice. "

20 June 2009 1:23 AM


I just want to curl up & die.

Please.

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19 June 2009 9:36 PM


" You don't even care. "


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3:39 AM
WHY? WHY? WHY?!
Why must this happen EVERY SINGLE time? I know i'm asking for the impossible if i were to wish that we never fight.
But hurting you is the worst i could do. & that is definitely something which i try very hard to avoid.. But yet it keeps happening every single time we're apart.
Baby, i know i've been rude at times & that it hurts. I'm sorry.. & believe me when i say i really really didn't mean to hurt you.
Baby, i love you more than anything else in the world & i dnt like to hurt you. But if this keeps happening every single time we're apart, i'm just afraid it's gonna ruin us.
All i can say right now is, i'm sorry. I really am. What with Grandma's weak condition, it just makes it worse.. Urgh! I feel so helpless.

Oh GOD, help me find the strength to get through all this. Help me find the strength to breathe. Please.

18 June 2009 6:02 PM
♥Without naming any names, say something to somebody:
-i miss you.

♥Connection between you and the last person who text messaged you?
- Soon to be sis-in-law?? lol.

♥Can you recall the last time you liked someone?
- months back.

♥Where is your phone?
- right infront of me.

♥Last time you felt bad about someone/something.
- yesternight.

♥Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
- I hope so.

♥Are you happy with the way things are going?
- Yesyes.

♥Would you ever get a tattoo?
- I've already got em.

♥Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to in person?
- Heck no.

♥Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?
- Errr. Ain't too sure bout that.

♥Where is the person you miss the most right now?
- Ubi. Taking his prac.

♥When you are home alone do you still close the door when you shower?
- Yes.

♥What was the last thing you drank?
- Milk.

♥What time did you go to bed last night?
- 10.30am, this morning.

♥What plans do you have for tomorrow?
- Meeting the BbyLove, that is if he sticks to it.

♥In the last 24 hours have you done anything you regret?
- Nope.

♥Do you have a best friend that is a boy?
- Yup2.

♥What did you do today?
- Nothing much. Woke up, bathe & here i am on the comp.

♥Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
- Yeahh. =(

♥Can you watch scary movies?
- Yup.

♥Has anyone ever spell your name wrong?
- Loads of times!

♥Would you rather have roommates or live alone?
- Room mates.

♥Did you cry at all today?
- Nahhh.

♥What were you doing at midnight last night?
- Watching movies online.

♥Do you have any plans for the weekend?
- Supposedly YES. But BbyLove is being fickle-minded.

♥Has someone told you that they liked/loved you?
- Yes.

♥Do you believe in soul mates?
- Yes.

♥Have you ever cut your own hair?
- Yes.

♥Is your best friend single?
- Yes.

♥Does it take a lot to make you cry?
- Not really. I'm quite a crybaby. =p

♥How did you wake up this morning?
- Alarm.

♥What do you want for your next birthday?
- To be younger can? Lol.

♥What is something you disliked about your day?
- Nothing. Yet..

♥Hows your heart lately?
- Still pumping.

♥Are you jealous of someone right now?
- Nope.



I'm not too sure why i keep doing surveys most of the time.
Partially maybe because i've got nothing to blog about & that i'm boreddd.
Oh well, will update again later.
Gotta go fetch Baby Girl from school now.
Cheers!

3:19 AM

I would live in your love as the sea-grasses live in the sea,
Borne up by each wave as it passes, drawn down by each wave that
recedes;

I would empty my soul of the dreams that have gathered in me,
I would beat with your heart as it beats, I would follow your soul
as it leads.


3:10 AM
Ye Mamannn. Entertain means NYAK. asl? Jealous kannn? Lol.

BbyLove is outside with his Sec sch mates & i'm here at home watching online movies. He's only called once & has been quiet ever since. I'm trying not to make a big fuss bout it but i just don't feel that it's fair. When it's me who goes out with PG Babies, he'll be sure to have lots of complains ready. But when it comes to him, i've just gotta keep quiet. Pfft. Super duper unfair nak mampos.
If he doesn't call soon, i'll make sure i'll torture him. Grrr.
More movies i guess. Gahhh.

16 June 2009 11:47 PM
I am so so so sorryyyy for the lack of updates. But i was either too plain lazy or too busy. Or too caught up with entertaining BbyLove.^^ Almost 2 WHOLE WEEKS at his crib was sheer bliss! Cause he was with me every SINGLE dayyyyy.. =D
Had a little disappointment on my bday with BbyLove but it didn't last long. Although i did cryyyy.. Tsk. Crying on ur birthday is definitely a no-no. But like i said, it didn't last long.

11th JUNE.
PG Babies gave me quite a shock when they appeared at my crib. SHOCKING, i tell you!! 1 moment i was soundly sleeping hugging BbyLove, the next thing i knew i saw PG Spade's daughter coming into my room & waking me up. I seriously thought i was dreaming.. Only to find out that the PG Babies were in my living room. Thanks eh korang.. buat aku sawan bil.er bangunnn.. grr. 2 of them didn't make it but hey, it's ok. I know you guys still love me. =) So yeah.. the PG Babies did manage to surprise me after all their hard work of thinking how to surprise me. And I LOVE YOU GUYSS! And yes, you guys did make me cry. Pfft.
They hanged around at my crib for a while and went off only when me & BbyLove was ready to go out. BbyLove & i didn't really know where to go so we headed to Lau Pa Sat for dinner. didn't have quite as much as we did last time. We were carefully scrutinising the menu just soo dat we don't over-eat again. But in the end, BbyLove did over-eat.. Hahaha. Luckily it wasn't as bad as last time. So yeah.. Just spend the whole night with BbyLove walking from City Hall to Clarke Quay & we spent time reminiscing the day we first met.
I couldn't have asked for anything more. & i truly did enjoy my birthday.
Poor BbyLove was putting himself down just because he couldn't celebrate my bday like how i did for his. But hey, having you by my side is enough for me. =)

All in all, i just wanna say thanks to others for the birthday wishes. Some really UNEXPECTED ones. I'm surprised you still remembered. =)


I knew this day would come where you would "stumble" upon my blog. But go on girl, read as much as you want cause what's between you & BbyLove was long gone. He's now mine & i won't hesitate to rub it in your face. Enjoy reading! *smirks*

Pictures will be up soon once i get em from PG Baby Kecik. Till then,
Cheers!

11 June 2009 1:31 AM
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Yesyes. I'm finally 22. And it sucks. Hahaha. Oh well.
Update more later.
BbyLove needs some entertainment & i'm his entertainer for tonight.
=)

09 June 2009 9:20 PM
Tell me you need me.
Only me.
Tell me you want me.
Only me.
Tell me i'm the only one in your heart.
Only me.
Tell me you love me.
ONLY ME.
Pls..

I don't know what else to do to rid these feelings of jealousy. Maybe on my part, i reacted too much. I reacted wrongly. But a girls' intuition is never wrong. i knew she like you. I knew she wanted you to be hers. And seeing the way she looked at you just made me feel so insecured. Just made me feel like i was going to lose you. And for you to get angry when i told you what i felt, just made it muchmuch worse. I couldn't stop myself from sulking in front of your friends. I couldn't stop staring at her & giving her weird looks. But still, that shouldn't have made you scold me. That shouldn't have made you feel pissed. I felt like you were siding her rather than me. I'm sorry Love, but this feeling i have just can't be ignored. && i'm really scared. Scared that things are going to take a worse turn. For you & i.. We are both not like who we used to be. & it's scaring the shits out of me.

My birthday is coming & i'm really not looking forward to it. Because i don't want to celebrate it with you & i at wars. I want to celebrate it with my loved ones, happy & contented. But with the way things are going, i doubt that it's going to be a happy day at all. I hate my birthday! =_(

08 June 2009 1:45 AM
I feel sooooo disappointed & sad but what can i say?
He is who he is & i've just gotta accept him for that.
It breaks my heart, truly..
But i just can't say much.
Haiz.
I guess there are some things better left kept quiet.
Cause i know he won't change.
=(

I'm not looking forward to my birthday.
AT ALL.
=_(

06 June 2009 7:32 PM
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I'm too tired to function properly right now despite having the long sleep. Lil bro's in his room with the gf, doing God knows what. And i'm waiting for the time to go out & fetch Bbylove from wotk. Yesyes, i'm a very good gf. Hahahah. Oh yeah, BabyGirl has just went off for her 1 week holiday, leaving her mummy behind!! && she won't be here for my birthday too. Tsk.
Ahh.. Birthday.. birthday.. birthday.. Can i pls just skip dat 1 day & pretend that it didn't even came? Lol. I don't know why, but i'm not looking forward to this birthday. And i don't even dare to think of what my PG Babies are planning for me. Because as u can see, they are a bunch of EVIL people who likes to make someone suffer on their birthday, ESPECIALLY ME. Hahaha. Tk fair tau korangggg.. Birthday korang aku buat sweet-sweet.. Birthday aku buat bodoh sudah k. Hahahaha. Nevertheless, i still love my PG BABIES very very very much.

Ouhkayyy.. my mind has suddenly went blank & i think i shall stop here. Should i go back to sleep? Better not. Otherwise i won't be seeing BbyLove tonight!
*5 more days. 5 more daysssss.. URGH!*

3:47 AM
Boredom can really really really kill especially when your partner is on the other line, cussing at his playstation. Gahh. and i swear to GOD that my lifeline is thinning..RAPIDLY.
BbyLove is not being much of a help with his cranky mood today. & to think, i'll be back in just a few hours.. & he's still complaining about how i've left him & how he's lonely.. Tsk. Mengade sangattt.. tu lahh.. manjekan lagi lahh..

&& SUMPAH DEMI NAMA ALLAH, JANGAN SESEKALI PEGI KPO2 BACA BLOG EX PARTNER KAU.
Kenape? Pasal nanti kau makan hati sendiri.. Sumpah, tk tipu.Hahaha. I guess the idiom "Curiousity kills the cat" really does make sense here. Cause for one thing, you'll only end up getting a heartache, whicchhh.. in the first place shouldn't even exist. Anddddd you'll be mocked by your partner for being so jealous. Grrr. -.-
tak salah pe jealous. beh kalau kau nampak name aku dgn gambar aku kt lelaki lain nye website, kau tk jealous ke? Bedek uh kalau tk ckp tk. Hmmph.


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5 more dayss. uurgh.

3:26 AM
1. Do you have a smell that turns you on?
His ARMPIT SMELL! =D
2. Do you think that you're old enough to have your first kiss?
How old do i look like?! 6? Tsk.
3. Have you had your first kiss?
Duhhh.. -.-
4. Have you had your second kiss?
Sumpah kau bodohh uh.
5. Have you kissed more than one person of the opposite sex?
*smacks head* What do i look like? A geek?
6. Have you kissed more than one person in one night?
Old times.
7. Who was your last "real" kiss with?
Hadidi Fadzly Bin Zainuddin.
8. Are you single?
NO.
9. Are you taken?
Yes.
10. Do you think you will /still be in a relationship 5 days from now?
Abehh!
11. How long have you been single/taken?
5 months 5 days.
12. Have you had any dreams lately?
Oh yes. A sad one.
13. Did you have one last night?
Can't remember. Was busy drooling & hugging BbyLove.
14. Describe?
Wet. Hahahaha.
15. Did you write a paragraph describing your dream for the last question?
Nope.
16. Have you had any wet dreams lately?
Perspiring included? Den yes. =D
17. Have you ever seen a guy without a shirt on?
Eveeerrryyy SINGLE DAY.
18. Have you ever seen a girl with out a shirt on?
Never saw ur mom naked isit? Hahaha.
19. How about that tongue?
Huh? *scratches head* What about it?
20. Use it lately?
^^
21. Do you shave your legs?
Nope.
22. Only swimmers shave their legs?
Don't think so.
23. Do you love me?
Nope.
26. Would you make love to me?
Unless your name is Hadidi Fadzly Bin Zainuddin, den NO.
27. Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple?
YEEELLLOOOWW!!
28. Last time you pole danced?
Long long time ago? Lol.
29. Last time you hugged someone of the opposite sex?
Almost 24 hrs ago.
30. Last time you were alone with someone of the opposite sex?
Almost 24 hrs ago too.
.31. Which part of the opposite sex turn you on?
Lips.
32. Do you think size matters?
Nope.
33. What is sex to you?
Another form of expressing love? Hahaha.
34. Can you tell when the opposite sex is horny?
Oh yesss.^^
35. Favourite part of the opposite sex?
That thing down there! hahaha. No lah. EYES.
36. Do you like chest hair?
Yesyes! Very comfy tauu. lol.
37. What about a beard?
Taknak! Irritating nak mampos..
38. What makes you horny?
And the answer is only known to BbyLove.
39. Are you horny now?
Nahh.
40. Has a guy ever made you horny?
Oh yes.. BbyLove does it every single day! Hahaha.

04 June 2009 6:29 PM
Not that i don't want to update, but my days were just to busy for me to update. Me & BbyLove just turned 5 Months few days ago.. but sadly BbyLove was sick during our special day. && ironically, now i've fallen sick.
Nothing much happened during the day, but when night came.. it was all fun. Had some sort of a couples gathering, which consists of Maman & Wawa, Syam & Ziela && of course me & BbyLove. 1st night was nothing much except for the non-stop jokes & laughs. But the 2nd night was just the greatest. All started with Syam,Ziela,me & BbyLove inside the train when we played a game known as CI KO PAK. Blablabla.. Bumped into Maman & Wawa and we ended up at some playground near their houses. And that sparked the countless of silly games. Everyone was being an idiot of some sort.. But all in all, it ended well. All of us had fun, and it was definitely a night to be remembered aye.. =)

Right now, i'm freaking bored. BbyLove's out for some bike lessons at Ubi. And i'm stuck at his house with nothing to do. Exceot maybe stare at the tv sumore. Urgh!


*7 more days! 7 MORE DAYSSS!!!*


Author
I've withstand the harshest pain & hurt a human can get. My weakness is love. And i'll do anything for the people i love. I've been told that i can be intimidating, but at the end of the day, i might just be your best friend. I do not wish to hate but if i've been hated, i'll be more than please to return the favour. Simply said.. I'm known as P G Tazzy Yana or Tazz. I'm 22. I have 1 daughter,ZAPHIA. I'm a part of P G. And i'm happy with my life.

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