I've often read through friends blogs / livejournals, bout stories of when they lost someone special in their lives and i often wondered how i'm gonna cope with it when it comes to my time.. And now when the possibility of losing my grandma gets nearer, i'm at a lost to do or think anything..
Ever since i got the news yesterday, i just couldn't stop worrying bout my grams. I couldn't stop thinking of all stupid possibilities of losing grams. I meannnnn, the last i saw her was during Hari Raya Haji .. and suddenly,this piece of shocking news. I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night & poor Bby was trying so hard to console me. I dunno lahhh... i just can't phantom life without Grams, even though i seldom meet her. Cause she's the only grandmother i have left, being that my dad's side have both passed away a looooonnnggg time ago.

I still remember how Grams was when we were young, Always getting us involved in doing the baking for kuih Raya. Or always bringing us out to... Anywhere. But it would only be me & my eldest cousin (her fav). Even tho Grams had her fav grandchild,she certainly didn't show it much except when it comes to money. But all that doesnt matter, cause i grew up with her. I spent most of my younger days at her crib,going out for walks & such. And now, seeing her lying on the hospital bed all frail & weak... it truly breaks my heart.
It's 3.30pm now, & it has been 8 hrs since i reached the hospital & these eyes want to call it quits. But this heart just cant. For the fear of not being able to say gdbye.
For now, all i can do is just pray and wait. Praying to ALLAH S.W.T so that he would give her more time on earth so we, could shower her with more of our love. Pls.

It starts tonight. & i'm praying hard. Don't leave so soon. We still need you Grams.