I've often read through friends blogs / livejournals, bout stories of when they lost someone special in their lives and i often wondered how i'm gonna cope with it when it comes to my time.. And now when the possibility of losing my grandma gets nearer, i'm at a lost to do or think anything..
Ever since i got the news yesterday, i just couldn't stop worrying bout my grams. I couldn't stop thinking of all stupid possibilities of losing grams. I meannnnn, the last i saw her was during Hari Raya Haji .. and suddenly,this piece of shocking news. I couldn't get a wink of sleep last night & poor Bby was trying so hard to console me. I dunno lahhh... i just can't phantom life without Grams, even though i seldom meet her. Cause she's the only grandmother i have left, being that my dad's side have both passed away a looooonnnggg time ago.

I still remember how Grams was when we were young, Always getting us involved in doing the baking for kuih Raya. Or always bringing us out to... Anywhere. But it would only be me & my eldest cousin (her fav). Even tho Grams had her fav grandchild,she certainly didn't show it much except when it comes to money. But all that doesnt matter, cause i grew up with her. I spent most of my younger days at her crib,going out for walks & such. And now, seeing her lying on the hospital bed all frail & weak... it truly breaks my heart.
It's 3.30pm now, & it has been 8 hrs since i reached the hospital & these eyes want to call it quits. But this heart just cant. For the fear of not being able to say gdbye.
For now, all i can do is just pray and wait. Praying to ALLAH S.W.T so that he would give her more time on earth so we, could shower her with more of our love. Pls.

It starts tonight. & i'm praying hard. Don't leave so soon. We still need you Grams.

Is it only me or is Singapore already a boring place to be in?
Reasons? Cause i can't seem to think of anything to do anymore. It's either chill out, watch movie, pool etc etc.. It's always the same old boring shits ain't it. Urgh!
Bby & i have spend days trying to come up with a plan.. But it seems that nothing pops up in our mind. Stupid SG. Why am i in such a pissed of mood? Cause i'm bored out of my socks.
Wat to do? Where to go? Mendak siaaaaaa.. tsk.tsk.

I'm really really counting down the hours till i meet up with Bby again. It's only been a few days but yet it seems like weeks. Tsk.Tsk. Tazzy has been hit by the "Love Bug". ^^

I am supposed to be sleeping right now,as promised to Bby. But i just can't seem to get my eyes to close! I've off my comp only to re-start it again 20 mins later.Grrr.
Bby is sure to get angry if he were to know i didn't go to sleep as promised.

Woopedidodey. It's been a while since i've blogged. Not that i don't want to, but everytime i log in to blogger.. my mind suddenly goes into auto shutdown. And it seriously irritates the hell out of me. Because of the fact that i've got sooooooo many things to update but i just can't seem to put them into words. Grrr.

I guess the very 1st thing i've got to do is to apologize to Lynn & the other Zouk staffs for suddenly going MIA on em. Especially Lynn & Him.
To Lynn, I'm sorry if i've made you mad or if i've disappoint you in any way.. But i've gotta to go MIA to settle things and to get things going straight again. And don't worry, i'll try my best to be present for any Zouk outings aite.
And to Him, I'm sorry if i just left you hanging. And i know by now, u must be hating me so much. All i can say is i'm sorry Alfian. Sorry if i hurt you, sorry if i broke your heart. But i had to do it,cause i don't want to hurt you anymore. I had to put an end to all this pain & if by making you hate me is the best choice, then i had to do it. I did love you & i did want to try it out with you but i guess things changed.


I've guess by now, most of you should have heard that i'm already attached. Yesyes. Attached to the greatest gift, Hadidi Fadzly. And mind you, me getting attached to him was totally UNPLANNED. Seriously. He & me were only friends to begin with. A friend who i could talk to about anything, anytime. A friend who i had a crush on for a very very long time. And never would i expect that he too, would have feelings for me. And so, things happened. And we ended up confessing our feelings and here we are now.. Together. =)
I don't know why, but my feelings for him is much greater than Haziq & Alfian combined. Maybe because he knows me inside out and maybe because i have a great sense of trust in him.
But, only one thing is really bothering me now. The fact that he is still young and that he still has yet to start school again is really bothering me. Even tho i don't really tell it to him, but i sense that he knows. Cause he never fails to reassure me that he won't leave me. Pray hard that its true shall we?


I can't promise to update everyday but i shall try my best to update every now & then. Cause most of the time, i'll be at His place & logging on to the net is really not on my mind. I mean, why shud it be when you're having great fun cuddling up to your love one aey?
Till next time. =)

Blog undergoing some minor constructions. Will be back with proper post & pics. =D

New year was hellish & it was the best time i ever had! Lots of things happened, good & bad. But it sure marks the day,i found something. What is it? I ain't telling yet.. Cause i'm actually rushing to go to dance prac.

Oh yeah.. I'll be on MIA mode. Cause i'm sick of hanging ard fakers. Seems like i've been hanging around with alot of fakers, and it's time for some reality check.
Gd day people!