The song "BE WITHOUT YOU" & "NO MORE DRAMA" by Mary J.Blige is really what i'm feeling right now.
Even though it was a short relationship with me & Zam, but he meant so much to me. I am not too sure myself why i loved him so much when we didn't even last that long. The feelings i had for him weren't fake. They were true. And for someone like me to love someone so true is just so damn hard. I look thru his pictures everyday. I check his profiles everyday. Just to see his face. And everytime i do so, tears will fall. But i just can't help it. No matter how i tried to stop myself from seeing his pictures, i will still go and click on them. Seeing his pictures made me remember all those sweet moments together. All those fun times we had. And it also made me remember that WE are no longer together.

Oh gosh. Tears are falling as i'm typing this.. Cause i miss him so. And it's tearing me apart..
I don't feel like going to work. It's torturing to know that i'll be seeing his face and sense his presence. I feel like killing myself this instance. So my heart will stop beating and stop hurting. Cause it's tearing me bit by bit.. And this pain is intolerable.


"Oh GOD, help me stop these tears. Take away this pain. It's hurting so much. Till i'm living my life in sorrow. Help me GOD.. Help me find my happiness again. Help me forget him, the 1 i loved so much. Help me stop crying. Why oh why.. Why did he mean so much to me? Why is it so hard to let him go? Why is he in my mind every single day, every single minute? Help me god. I can't bear this pain. It's hurting so much i feel like dying. =_("