Love may be the best thing, it may also be the worst. But love always brings out the best in us. and it always leave a lesson behind for us to learn. Always a valuable one. We may never want to end watever we had, we wanted to hold on.. But the question will always be, "Until When?". I for one, never thought i could hold on this long with Gemok. Reason being,i just didn't think it was serious btwn us. And now, we're holding on despite all the blowouts, despite the pain felt, despite the blood shed. Yes people, blood was shed.

Countless of times, friends and family have told me,have reprimanded me in fact, to leave him.. To just let go.. but it is never easy. Some people understand what i'm going through but some just don't. People think i'm strong for having put up with him for this long after all that has happen. I wish i was as strong as u guys think. If i was strong, i would have had the courage to say "Goodbye" to him long ago. But yet, i still can't.
It is always difficult to let the person you love go.
Once, i did make up up my mind and declared it was over,but it just didn't happen as he didn't want to throw it all away. It was too precious to been thrown away just like that.

Sometimes it easier to just say it's over rather than try to work it out. Cause ending the pain now rather than later seems a much easier and better decision. But the truth is, it's never better if we just say "it's over". Cause deep inside we all know that we are really cowards for just saying it's over. Think, if you say it's over.. wouldn't you have to go through all the hurt and happiness all over again? wouldn't it be much better to try it out with somebody who has already known you well enough instead of trying it out with someone who doesn't know a single thing about you at all, and go through it all, all over again. This is just my perspective. This is just what i think. i know i used to think saying it's over was much much easier.
But after my last relationship b4 Gemok, i started to think. How much longer must i go through all this over and over again till i've finally had enough? The reason i still hold on to my current relationship is not because i'm tired of going through the "dating" process all over again ((partly which i am laaa..)). But i still hold on because i know he is the one. I know he is the one i'm going to spend my old age with, despite all his flaws and all.

Nobody's perfect. Not even me. The flaws in us are what makes a relationship true and pure. Every relationship we go through are different. we can't expect them all to be the same can we?? Some relationship leaves good memories,some leave bad ones. But it's through those memories that we learn. That we learn what to do, and what not to do in our future relationship. Gemok may have done some things, bad things, which i have never come upon. And he is the worst guy i've ever met. But he is also the very best among all. Confused?? don't worry.. i am too..
Some things are just not meant to be explained. It's just meant to be felt. And i'm lucky to have felt this feeling.

Like the way the earth was created, we are created too, to bring a purpose in life, to give a hope in life. We teach things we never knew we could,some which we never knew we did in the 1st place. But yet we are here. To love, to hate and to cry. A bad relationship is unavoidable, it's just either now or later that you have to go through it. Embrace yourself, before the time comes.. And just remember, not 1 relationship can be the same as everybody is different.

I love my Gemok despite all his good or bad. Cause it was through him that i learnt the meaning of satisfaction (jgn pikir lain ehk!), the meaning of patience,the meaning of "LOVE".
So thank everyone and everything that has entered our lives.cause you'll never know..
When you'll be breathing you last..


So dear Anep, no worries, everything's fine.And please,control ur anger as i've said it alot of times to u. It never brings u any good if you still hold on to ur anger. don't give the reason that you were born with that anger. Everyone was born with anger, but it's everyone's choice to change. ALLAH s.w.t gave us the mind to think, gave us the ability to decide and choose on our own. Think before you act anep. And never ever say harsh words to a loved one. They are not your loved ones for no reason right?? Just think anep. How much longer are you going to do this before nobody wants you anymore?? I'm telling you this cause i care for you and i wanna see you happy. Take a minute and think it out k. You'll find the answer right in front of your eyes.