((From now on, i'll be writing my post with pictures on top. Just random pictures of me or people i love.))

The other day Daddy said, "You guys are lucky for getting to eat crabs as often as you want." Yes, we were breaking our fast eating crabs. Crabs that was skinned by me and cooked by daddy.(Gemok was scared seeing me skin the crabs. LoL.) And it was weird daddy said that. Then he explained, saying that this was the 2nd time in 2 weeks that we ate crabs. And it was just because the other time, i complained. Because i only ate 1. And so they bought it just for my sake and because it was fasting month too. Then daddy went on by saying that not everybody gets to eat like we do.. and we should be thankful for that. Who says i'm not?? I am very thankful for ahve been given this life, this family, this love. I couldn't imagine what i would have become if i wasn't a part of them. Yes, i may have whined and complained, a couple of times.. Saying" how i wish things were different." But come on! People whineeee.. and i am but only a human.

Daddy is a weird guy.. always saying random things all the time.. but "thoughtful" random things. All the things he say will always make me and my brother think. All the things he say will always be a life lesson learned. And to think he didn't even complete his Pri 6. Yes, my daddy was a failure then, always taking drugs.. always the abusive one.. He was the ultimate FAILURE.
But now, he has made a success out of himself no one thought he could. He achieved things beyond his wildest dreams. And he's happy. It just hurts so,not able to express my feeling towards him. Not able to say "i love you" to him anymore. Not able to say i'm proud of him. I know we still can. But i once said to him i hated him, i once said to him that he was as good as dead to me. And the hole between us is too far apart to mend. Haizzz..

Why am i ranting on and on about my daddy?? cause i don't want to lose him.. cause he's aging. and because i don't want him to leave me without us making up.

I love you ayah. If only you knew.