(( 7 days to Gemok's Birthday))
*a word of caution,this is going to be a very very very long post. so sit straight. and enjoy! hee.
Lets begin..
i ended of my blog by saying that it may be over between us.But i will only get back to that later on.Hee.
Remember a previous post of mine where i said that he'll question me if i put up pictures of myself? Haha. He did. You should hear all the ridiculous questions he asked. Quite atrocious,really. Hahahahaha. So now, i may or may not take down those pics. Oh well, we'll see.
Him aside, lets recap what i did during the weekends. Boss send me home on Sat.
Reached home,grab some stuffs and headed straight to JB. Gemok wasn't happy and started to pick a fight with me,in which i just walked away and left him glaring at me. hee. Oh well, so we headed to Jb to get some stuffs for Raya. But the most of the Saturday was wasted because of my dad and his car. Kreta dia lagi important agaknye.. hahahaha. We only managed to get 1 baju raya for my bro at the end of the day. Went back to the condo (didn't i tell u my daddy gt a condo there??hee) , watched "1408". Had a tiff with Gemok over the phone as he went out without telling me, and then came back late. But i managed to try to talk to him. Managed to ask him why he was being the way he was. and his reason? "Stress with work." How typical of him to always use the reason "work" to substitute for his mistakes. I told him how i felt and he said he was sorry. after talking to him,went out to buy mee goreng (as my mummy was suddenly hungry) and slept. Woke up early the next day (Sunday) , went to Angsana and bought 2 baju for my mum, 1 for me and 1 for phia. didn't stay for long as daddy was in a foul mood and wanted to go back early. Headed back to SG. and helped the Gundus paint the house. After buka went out with him to nowhere. Just wondered aimlessly grabbing bites to eat. Got back home and we had a blowout.
A very HUGE blowout. Yes, a blowout which almost ended with him leaving for good and me "boyfriend-less." LoL. He cried ((yes people,he does have feelings. Lmao)). But me? i was doing a very good job of not crying much. Till he noticed and said i was being a stubborn-headed bitch. He said i was still trying to act "macho" and i acted as if he didn't matter to me. I wanted to bawl out and cry my heart out. But that will only show and prove to him that i'm weak. Even when he said he's really leaving. I didn't budge and just lay on my bed,with tears flowing down my cheek. He said stuffs bout karma and all. Then he asked me why i was doing this to him. And i told him.. Well, i tried..at first. After which i got so fed-up as he was stil doing the thing i didn't like right in front of my face, i just told him to get out of my room and go. He got up, said goodbye and wanted to leave. I had to control every single part of me from not pulling him back. I had to be firm. My eyes were hurting from "tahan-ing the tears". and so was his from all the crying.
I thought he was really gone. And then was when i couldn't hold it anymore. I cried my heart out. I wanted to die there and then. He came back into the room and said, "You know you can't leave me yet why are you doing this?".. I jst kept quiet. To which he came to me and hugged me tight. I wanted to push him away,wanted it all to end and not to relieve the nigtmare i have been relieving every day. The more i tried to push him away, the more he held on. Tighter and tighter he held on,till i gave up and hugged him back. He made me promised not to let him go,and i made him promised not to do certain stuffs.
((I can bet that most of you are happy kan things turn out this way. Chicken tol krg. Suka abissss.)) Hahaha.
Didn't go to work yesterday as i was sick from yesterday's fight. Gemok took an mc too. and we just spend the whole of yest together. weeeee! LoL. and now i'm at work updating this blog. and now my headache is getting worse.
And dear Zyla and Fidah, i thank you for your kind words.
yes it is true that i should give it another shot since he's showing that he still have faith in the relationship.But darlings, it does takes "two to clap" right? What about my faith? i had faith too,before. But he kept crushing my faith. Only when i seem to want to end it all, then does he show that he really wants it. i mean, who wouldn't right? And believe me, i'm not being rushy at all. "Sit down and talk" is and never would be in his dictionary. it was always "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HIM", all the time. So tell me, is there a need for me to get shouted at again and again? His mindset is that of an old scrooge. and i mean very very old. LoL. His thinking is,a wife ( or gf for this instant) must never answer, must never think,and must always do whatever he says even if we were to die. Yes, that is him. but nvm him. Things are better now. Thanks again Fidah and Zyla.
yes it is true that i should give it another shot since he's showing that he still have faith in the relationship.But darlings, it does takes "two to clap" right? What about my faith? i had faith too,before. But he kept crushing my faith. Only when i seem to want to end it all, then does he show that he really wants it. i mean, who wouldn't right? And believe me, i'm not being rushy at all. "Sit down and talk" is and never would be in his dictionary. it was always "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HIM", all the time. So tell me, is there a need for me to get shouted at again and again? His mindset is that of an old scrooge. and i mean very very old. LoL. His thinking is,a wife ( or gf for this instant) must never answer, must never think,and must always do whatever he says even if we were to die. Yes, that is him. but nvm him. Things are better now. Thanks again Fidah and Zyla.
Can i take half day today? i'm really really sick seyy.
I've withstand the harshest pain & hurt a human can get. My weakness is love.
And i'll do anything for the people i love. I've been told that i can be intimidating, but at the end of the day, i might just be your best friend.
I do not wish to hate but if i've been hated, i'll be more than please to return the favour.
Simply said..
I'm known as P G Tazzy Yana or Tazz. I'm 22. I have 1 daughter,ZAPHIA. I'm a part of P G.
And i'm happy with my life.